Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years it has been a growing debate on whether schools should focus on formal learning or they have provide extra curriculum activities as well. I feel Children should be exposed to learning and playing equally in primary schools. This essay will tell you why i agree that pupils should get exposed to fun activities and why is it important.

One of the primary reason for this is most of the parents think their child will fall behind in academic progress. Additionally, the formal learning is introduced so that schools can increase their ranking. For instance, most of the school think a narrow definition of learning that only counts what written on paper.

On the other hand, playing is not the opposite of learning. It teaches students, how to focus on certain things and discipline. Participating in role play would increase their imaginative and communication skills. Furthermore, Brining them up on a stage would make them more courageous. Turning their path towards fun activities would loosen up them and reduce anxiety. For instance, a student who focus on formal learning, will only excel in educational field and will be deprived from external world, whereas another students who studies with play tends to have fun life with career without isolating to learning.

In conclusion, while both perspectives hold merit, i believe that Students should be entertained to learn academic knowledge and at the same time they should be allowed to play to increase their skills such as confidence, discipline socio-economic skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that play teaches focus and discipline, the explanation remains quite general. The introduction is a bit informal ('This essay will tell you why'), and the position, while clear, could be more sophisticated. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are supported with more detailed, specific examples rather than brief mentions. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, but the overall depth of the argument is consistent with a mid-range band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel slightly abrupt. Referencing is generally clear, but there are instances where the connection between ideas could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body, and conclusion. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the logical progression between sentences is more seamless.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'academic progress,' 'imaginative,' and 'courageous,' but there are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'Brining them up on a stage' (instead of 'performing on stage') and 'fun life with career' (which is vague). There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'socio-economic skills,' which does not quite fit the context of primary school play. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic and precise collocations would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'it has been a growing debate,' 'they have provide,' 'most of the school think,' and 'a student who focus.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. These errors do not generally impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that your complex sentences are constructed accurately without missing auxiliary verbs or incorrect verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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