Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people debate that elementary schools concentrate so much on formal learning. I strongly disagree to this argument. In this modern era, primary schools are only educating students to study while, neglecting their willingness to play. I think it is less important for children to study rather than play. A child's brain starts to develop at this age. If the schools start to neglect play time for the kids, their brain functioning might get disturbed.

In my opinion, I firmly disagree to this opinion. Making the children only focus on formal learning will mentally exhaust them. Children of that age group need more physical activity or they get mental stressed. Chidren might not be able to interact with other kids as well. For example, schools that only educate elementary children had seen children suffer from partial depression and social anxiety.

I think it is less important for children to study other than play. Kids brain start to develop at this age. Mental stress is not good for the growth of the kid. Physical activity will promote kids growth a lot. Children might face psychological problems if they do not get any time to play. Social Anxiety is also an issue that children might face if they only focus on studies.

In conclusion, I barely agree to the above statement that primary schools should focus mostly on educating children rather than letting kids play. Moreover, it is very significant for kids to play at that age so that they grow healthy without any physical or psychological issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the position is inconsistent. In the introduction, you state you 'strongly disagree' with the idea that schools focus too much on formal learning, yet your subsequent arguments support the idea that they should focus less on formal learning and more on play. This contradiction makes your overall stance unclear. While you provide relevant ideas regarding mental health and social development, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. To improve, ensure your position is clearly defined and maintained throughout, and expand on your points with more specific examples rather than repeating the same concerns about stress and anxiety in every paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by repetition. You frequently restate the same points about brain development and mental stress across different paragraphs, which disrupts the flow. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often basic or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'In my opinion' and 'I think'. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') and ensure that each paragraph introduces a distinct, new idea that builds upon the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing such as 'study', 'play', and 'kids'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'brain functioning might get disturbed' and 'barely agree', which do not sound natural in an academic context. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to education and child development, and pay closer attention to word choice to ensure your meaning is conveyed accurately and professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include 'I strongly disagree to this argument' (should be 'with'), 'Kids brain start' (missing possessive apostrophe), and 'schools that only educate elementary children had seen' (incorrect tense). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity of your writing. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and the consistent application of possessive forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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