Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that primary school calssroom should provide a play as well as qulitiy of education. I completely agree with this view becacuse it is parmount for the teenagers. it develop a critical thinking and develop their boraden information, and it is benefical for physical health.

The primary reason why I agree that primary school should more focus on childern games activites, since it provide to develop new ideas and boast critical and analytical thinking. This is because when schools are offer play games childern can interst and happy in this activity. For example, they intersted in playing football, when they play a football after playing football they can focus on studies. However, all games can relax childern brain and reduce anxiety. As a result, childern can build their access information, when they build their knowlege they can get higher marks in the result. Therefore, primary school should focus on physical activites because games play a crucial role in our whole society.

Another important reasin is that playning activities is pramount for students because they can reduce their both mental and physical health. An other words, when students too much spend time in learning books and they can feel pressure. For instance, exam days are students focus on academic and teachers also take a burden in students, so they can feel pressure. Consequently, childern cannot achieve a better marks. For this reason, playing activites are very essential for students because they reduce both mental and physical health.

In conclusion, I completely agree that primary school should provide different types of activites beacuse it is important for the childern's.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention critical thinking and physical health, the explanations are repetitive and lack depth. For example, the argument that playing football helps students focus on studies is a good starting point, but it is not fully explored. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments often rely on generalisations rather than specific, well-reasoned points. To improve, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-developed idea supported by a clear example or logical consequence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, 'In other words' is used incorrectly to introduce a new point about stress rather than rephrasing the previous one. Additionally, some transitions are awkward, such as 'For this reason, playing activites are very essential'. While there is a logical flow, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the repetitive nature of the sentence structure make the progression feel somewhat disjointed at times.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary range is limited and there are frequent spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'calssroom', 'qulitiy', 'becacuse', 'parmount', 'childern', and 'reasin'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. The range of vocabulary is basic, relying on simple terms like 'good', 'important', and 'happy'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling. You need to demonstrate a wider range of collocations and avoid repeating the same words in close proximity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors, such as 'when students too much spend time in learning books and they can feel pressure'. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent (e.g., 'a football', 'the childern's'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing commas and incorrect sentence boundaries. The frequency of these errors is high enough to cause some difficulty for the reader, although the overall meaning remains generally understandable.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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