Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is argued by some people that excessive emphasis is being placed on formal learning and classroom teaching in primary schools. While classroom education is undoubtedly important, I believe that excessive focus on the same can be detrimental and that there should be a balance between traditional learning and play to ensure the overall development of children.

One of the primary reasons for the emphasis on academic learning is the believe that teaching of traditional subjects is more beneficial for the children’s future. Teachers and parents believe that it is essential to master core subjects like English, Mathematics, Science as they make kids smarter. These subjects inculcate skills which are necessary for further developing interest in professional occupations like engineer, doctor and teacher, considered as respectful in the society. This leads to teachers placing more emphasis on classroom teaching.

However, spending time outside classroom playing is equally important to ensure a child’s overall development. While formal learning provides knowledge of certain subjects, playing targets several other important parts of a kid’s personality. Engaging in various types of physical sports develops children’s cognitive skills, motor skills including eye-hand coordination and keeps them fit. They also learn values like cooperation by engaging with games played in a group setting. For instance, team sports like basketball, football, volleyball amongst others not only challenge the kids physically but also forces them to engage their decision-making powers to cooperate and win as a team. Furthermore, it also allows children to discover their talents outside the traditional routes of employment expected out of them. A clear illustration of this would be a child realising their potential and working towards it in a particular sport like basketball because of its introduction to the child.

To conclude, while formal learning plays a significant role in shaping the child’s future, play should not be neglected as it equally contributes to the child’s wellbeing through its several advantages in shaping their personalities. It is recommended that a balance be struck between both forms of learning to ensure holistic development of the student.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt clearly. You establish a firm position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. The ideas regarding the benefits of formal learning and the developmental advantages of play are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as team sports. The response is balanced and directly answers the 'to what extent' and 'how important' components of the task. To reach a higher band, you could further extend the discussion on the potential negative consequences of 'too much' formal learning, perhaps by mentioning burnout or reduced creativity, to provide a more nuanced argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the focus on academic learning and the benefits of play is smooth. You use a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'For instance'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points. The referencing is generally clear, though occasionally the flow could be improved by varying the sentence structure slightly more to avoid repetitive phrasing at the start of sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'overall development', 'cognitive skills', and 'holistic development' are used accurately. There are some minor errors, such as 'believe' instead of 'belief' and 'expected out of them', which is slightly informal. While you use some less common items, the vocabulary is generally functional rather than highly sophisticated. To improve, focus on more precise collocations and avoid minor word-form errors to achieve a more natural, academic tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most sentences are clear and error-free, which allows for easy reading. There are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'forces them to engage their decision-making powers' (which is slightly awkward) and the omission of articles in some places (e.g., 'considered as respectful in the society' should be 'in society'). However, these errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. The control of punctuation is generally good, supporting the overall clarity of your arguments.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.