Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It has been observed that a few individuals claim that primary schools concentrate too much on formal learning .I disagree the given statement to a large extent. My inclination is elaborated in ensuring paragraph and relevant examples.

The foremost argument to justify my stand is that formal primary schooling will restrict the scholars abilities and limited their view of consider things widely as their brains are developing rapidly and they are able to adopt any kind of attributes that have offered to them. The learners must have room to practice and experience diverse subjects rather than selected ones. In particular, in schools they should guide them practical skills than the usual theoretical.

It is crucial for juveniles to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom because it will enhance their physical as well as mental health. At this age child have finite capacity of focus and play will refresh their brain and supply them enough ability to achieve developing milestones and personality enhancement. Particularly, schools which have playgrounds for physical activities usually showed better achievement in annual results than those not engaged their students to extra curricular activities.

To conclude and offer my position, it can be said that despite the fact of formal learning at school encourage children to learn more productively and affectively, my reasons that play as well as learning in the primary school will consequently shape the personality of juveniles and boost them to take part in activities that benefit them in both perspective physically and mentally that are logically acceptable .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument that formal schooling 'restricts scholars' abilities' is asserted but not fully supported with clear, logical reasoning. The position is clear, but the explanation of why play is important relies on generalisations rather than specific, well-developed examples. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete illustrations or deeper analysis of how play specifically contributes to cognitive or social development in a primary school setting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'My inclination is elaborated in ensuring paragraph' (which contains a typo and unnatural phrasing). The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the concluding paragraph is quite repetitive, restating the prompt rather than synthesising the main points effectively. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices or incorrect collocations, such as 'ensure paragraph' (likely meant 'ensuing'), 'juveniles' (which is usually used in a legal context rather than for primary school children), and 'affectively' (confused with 'effectively'). While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and the errors in word choice occasionally draw attention to themselves. Using more precise academic terminology would improve the overall quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'I disagree the given statement' (missing a preposition), 'limited their view' (incorrect verb tense/form), and 'child have finite capacity' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces before periods. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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