Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Education is the primary part of our life and some people believe that schools introduce formal education at a very young age. Whereas, letting children enjoy their initial years of life is also equally beneficial for their development. I believe that formal learning should be introduced gradually as to not put pressure on the young minds.

One decisive factor is that children need to develop certain skills before they are introduced with formal learning. Children need to explore their surroundings and should learn basic education in a way that it excites them and encourages them to explore further and not to divert from it. For example, a child learning alphabets in a fun and compeling way would retain that information better than a child with simple learning. Also this fun way of learning will develop skills for curiosity and a child will learn along with playing. This not only develops

Another significant advantage of introducing formal learning gradually in children is that they need the primary years of their life to enjoy.Too much pressure at a young age will repress their abilities and may have adverse effect on their capabilities.

My stance stands with gradual introduction of formal education in the primary years of children. This not only releases the child from pressure but also allows young children to start learning at their own pace and allow them the freedom of enjoying their youth. Some people may believe that early education will develop lifetime skills from the young age and will provide them with better opportunities in the future but i don't agree with that. I believe that even if children have the ability to grasp things quickly they still need to be allowed to play. We can introduce formal education slowly and steadily so that it seems natural and not forced on the children

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The second paragraph introduces the idea of 'fun and compelling' learning but lacks specific, concrete examples beyond a general mention of alphabets. The third paragraph is quite brief and repetitive, failing to fully explore the long-term consequences of early formal pressure. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed, illustrative examples and ensure each body paragraph fully explores its main point without relying on circular reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt, and the sentence 'This not only develops' at the end of the second paragraph is an incomplete fragment, which disrupts the flow. While the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the essay feel slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of transition signals would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You use some good phrases like 'decisive factor' and 'adverse effect', but there are also instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'introduced with formal learning' (should be 'introduced to') and 'compeling' (spelling error). The repetition of basic words like 'learn' and 'education' limits your score. To improve, focus on using more precise synonyms and ensuring correct collocations, such as 'formal schooling' or 'academic rigor' instead of repeating 'formal learning'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'learning alphabets' (should be 'the alphabet'), 'a child with simple learning' (unclear phrasing), and 'i don't agree' (lack of capitalization). There is also a sentence fragment at the end of the second paragraph. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring all sentences are complete.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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