Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals argue that grade school limelight too much on formal learning instead of giving them opportunities to play. I partially agree with this view because education is important, sports also play a important role on children mental health and physical health. We will discuss how education should be balanced with sports.

Firstly, education is very important in child's life to get a good career. Nowadays, good qualification is important to get a well secured high paid job. For instance, if children is good at academics they will get into good universities and this will help them in practical learning and they can secure a high paid jobs which can help them in their better future.

Secondly, sports also play a vital role in child's life for their mental and physical health. If primary schools focus more on formal learning rather than giving them opportunities to play, they will be stressed and loss in their cognitive health. Physical activities help them in decision making and team work. For instance, games like block building help child's brain to think in difficult situations. And games like cricket help them in discipline, leadership and team work. For example child who take part in playing football and cricket helps them in communications and corporation with others which is important in both professional and personal life.

In conclusion, formal learning is important in child's life to get a job and secure their future while, sports and physical activities are also important for their physical and mental health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that education is important for a career and play is vital for health, the arguments lack depth and specific, well-integrated examples. For instance, the mention of 'block building' and 'cricket' is a good attempt at providing examples, but the explanation of how these specifically relate to the classroom environment could be more robust. To improve, ensure that each paragraph provides a more detailed analysis of the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims to fully satisfy the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure of your response. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear (e.g., 'this will help them in practical learning'). To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that the transition between your ideas is smoother. Currently, the progression of ideas is logical, but the connections between sentences could be more sophisticated and less repetitive.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'important', 'good', and 'help'. There are also some noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'limelight too much on' (likely meant 'focus too much on') and 'loss in their cognitive health'. To improve, you should aim to incorporate a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary and more precise collocations. For example, instead of repeating 'important', use synonyms like 'crucial', 'essential', or 'paramount' to demonstrate a more flexible command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('if children is good', 'child who take part'), missing articles ('in child's life'), and awkward phrasing ('corporation with others' instead of 'cooperation'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage, and try to incorporate more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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