Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A group of individuals believe that primary institutes put too much attention on formal learning rather than play and learn at the same time. I firmly believe that the later should be applied in schooling

Institution focusing primarily on formal learning wants to teach more to their students in a short amount of time. Hence, reducing extra-curricular activities lecture and increasing the study periods.

Their intention is to create geniuses that have knowledge about everything in their domain.

But this increases stress on students as they have to cope with a lot of content. In my opinion, only formal learning is a bad teaching practice, because rather than helping students grow by learning it puts them under a stressful situation.

In primary schools, Students are young, therefore they require a playful learning method rather than teacher just talking in technical language. Moreover, multiple scientific research has concluded that music and happiness in a classroom can boost the learning capability of the students. Furthermore, learning done by any means of activity tends to stay longer in the memory. Thus, building knowledgeable and capable individuals ready for their higher study. I agree because an individual with just textbook knowledge is less preferred than a student that could apply that knowledge in real life.

To conclude, Primary focus on formal learning does not make students more knowledgeable but on the contrary, it puts them under a stressful situation. Hence, I firmly believe that teaching should be done in an engaging and playful manner.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument that formal learning creates 'geniuses' is a bit simplistic, and the explanation of why play is beneficial could be more deeply explored with specific examples beyond general references to 'scientific research'. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete illustrations of how play facilitates learning in a primary school context.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'Hence', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from the critique of formal learning to the benefits of play. However, referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as the use of 'the later' (should be 'the latter') in the introduction, which slightly disrupts the flow. Overall, the structure is sufficient to guide the reader through your argument effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'extra-curricular', 'capability', and 'technical language'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'primary institutes' (should be 'primary schools') and 'multiple scientific research' (research is uncountable; should be 'multiple scientific studies' or 'much scientific research'). While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, these occasional inaccuracies prevent the response from reaching a higher band. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher scores.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Institution focusing' (missing article: 'Institutions focusing'), 'Students are young' (unnecessary capitalization), and 'a stressful situation' (repeated phrasing). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. You have attempted complex sentences, but they often contain minor slips in subject-verb agreement or article usage. Focusing on proofreading for these small, recurring errors would significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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