Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the contemporary world, some individuals believe that elementary schools plays excessive emphasise on formal education. This essay strongly agrees with this perspective, as rigid academic structures can lead to mental strain and early forms of depression. Furthermore, I believe that integrating play into the classroom is paramount for a child's cognitive and social development.

First and foremost, primary schools often prioritise rote memorisation techniques rather than establishing structural understanding of concepts among children. They focus solely on exams and grades instead of building strong visualisation ideas. Moreover, this can lead to a lack of creativity among the pupils as, sitting at a desk and reading books for hours can damage the curiosity and imagination of a learner. Additionally, primary school children are heavily burdened with a heavy workload such as homework, leaving them stressed and exhausted from an early age.

Subsequently, activities such as board games and group play can help children nurture their childhood. They can grasp various concepts such as communication, sharing habits, resolving conflicts naturally, skills textbooks can never teach. Furthermore, games like building blocks and puzzles can help to boost up cognitive thinking among the learners. Finally, introducing a period for documentaries related to nature and wildlife can be helpful for pupils to understand how ecosystems and food chains work in real life.

To conclude, I firmly believe that elementary schools should focus more on the cognitive understanding of children and help them building motor skills in early age rather than concentrating on rote memorisation and impact of grades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the mention of mental strain and the benefits of social interaction through play. However, some points are slightly under-developed; for instance, the suggestion to use documentaries is a specific example but could have been better linked to the broader argument about cognitive development. Overall, the response covers all requirements well, though it could benefit from more nuanced exploration of the 'extent' of the problem to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'Subsequently' are used effectively to link sentences and paragraphs. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is slightly abrupt. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes a bit mechanical. Overall, the structure is clear and supports the development of the argument effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task, with some good collocations like 'cognitive and social development', 'rote memorisation', and 'mental strain'. There are some minor errors in word choice and form, such as 'plays excessive emphasise' (should be 'places excessive emphasis') and 'building motor skills in early age' (should be 'at an early age'). While the range is sufficient to convey ideas clearly, it lacks the more sophisticated, precise vocabulary that would characterize a higher band. The attempt to use less common items is successful, but the occasional inaccuracies prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is a good attempt at using complex sentences, such as 'They can grasp various concepts such as communication, sharing habits, resolving conflicts naturally, skills textbooks can never teach.' However, there are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('schools plays') and missing articles ('in early age'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To improve, the student should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring consistent verb forms and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.