Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In my opinion that was true that some primary school focus too much on formal learning they are just only focuses on the subject books they have , and they were only giving knowledge of course outline that was issued by the staff i am not saying that teaching about the courses is bad but i am saying that they have to arrange some activities for students . if i shared my expirence of my primary school life my school was arranging one cartoon class in the morning and then there is class of art (drawing) , and after that there is an English teacher that teaches us English in very good way , the way of teaching English from mam is unique , mam was used to say that everyone learns an one English word from parents and than come to stage and then told class loudly and whole class have to repeat that , through this activity we were learning daily 50 new words that type of method of teaching should be attained by schools that our teachers have

its important for children to play during the school time schools have to arrange one coach for children .who taught him that how they have to play games when the children are playing their muscles get stretched . when they are playing games their mental levels expand their way of thinking is changed when you are playing you wants to win you are using different methods that develop the creative and logical thinking in children that why schools also have to focus on physical activities for the children

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is limited. The argument is somewhat repetitive, focusing heavily on personal anecdotes rather than broader educational principles. The position is clear, but the ideas are not fully extended or supported with academic depth. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more balanced arguments and explore the implications of your points in a more formal, objective manner, rather than relying solely on personal experience.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. There is no introduction or conclusion, and the paragraphing is insufficient, with the entire response feeling like a stream of consciousness. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused; for example, the transition between the personal anecdote and the argument about physical education is abrupt. The use of referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical progression of your argument. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') and organizing ideas into distinct, logical paragraphs is essential.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, often relying on informal phrasing like 'mam was used to say' and 'subject books'. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'attained by schools' instead of 'adopted by schools' and 'mental levels expand'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the range is limited and lacks the precision required for an academic task. To improve, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, and avoid informal, conversational language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are significant issues with sentence structure, including run-on sentences and comma splices (e.g., 'when they are playing their muscles get stretched . when they are playing games...'). Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, and there is a lack of complex sentence structures. Punctuation is also problematic, with many missing or incorrectly placed periods and commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practicing the use of complex sentences with appropriate conjunctions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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