Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is often aruged that primary educators emphasize children on formal studies, while other thinks school should focus on extra-curricular activites,In this essay i will cover both views before concluding my opinion.
On the one-hand, The supporters of formal curriculum maintain that primary school should focus on providing education to childrens to their upbrining more with intellectual way.For instance; The schools are providing long classes which occupied children from early age for half of its day in schools. both parents and educators thought this kind of approach will works better and many students pursuades their career from childhood.
On the other-hand, Some believe that the education should be more practical from kindergarten so the childrens opting education without taking it as a over-whelming and invasive. Firstly, Technical schools now widespread around the globe. For example; They providing hands-on skills to the students which works better for their early life occupations. Secondly; Despites of graduating with only academic literature , many technical schools have adapt academic as well in their curriculum as they find need of it.In addition, the ideal situation for the children who take both skills and academics at one place, ultimately, supports in their professional and social life.
From my perspective, Government should take leading role and direct the institutional bodies to improve the education system with more focus om the essential technical skills must empowered them to compete in globalized world.
Having concluded, I would like to reiterate that Academic pursuasion for the children is foresmost, however,the balance approach works the best for pupils and government, this could not only helps students for their career progression, moreover, the governement will get economically beneficial.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The arguments regarding 'technical schools' are slightly off-topic for a discussion about primary education, as technical training is typically associated with secondary or vocational levels. While a position is stated, the reasoning lacks depth and specific examples related to the primary school context. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the points made. To improve, ensure that examples are directly relevant to the primary school age group and provide more detailed explanations for your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the awkward transition 'In addition, the ideal situation for the children who take both skills and academics at one place, ultimately, supports in their professional and social life.' Punctuation errors, such as the misuse of semicolons ('For instance; The schools...') and incorrect capitalization after commas, disrupt the flow. While there is a logical progression, the relationships between sentences are sometimes strained, making the overall cohesion feel somewhat disjointed.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'emphasize children on formal studies' (should be 'emphasize formal studies for children') and 'academic pursuasion' (likely meant 'academic pursuit'). The use of 'invasive' to describe education is also contextually incorrect. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary and the frequent errors in word formation and usage prevent a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('other thinks', 'schools are providing... which works better'), incorrect pluralization ('childrens'), and misuse of prepositions ('focus om'). Punctuation is also a significant issue, with erratic capitalization and incorrect use of semicolons. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be distracting and indicate a lack of control over complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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