Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some part of our society is concerned about the education system in primary schools they believe that schools are more oriented to basic learning and consider physical activities are crucial as well. I am completely agree with this statement and shed a light on my opinion in this essay.

To commence with, including playing session together with the studies is pivotal for young students during a school time. By adding playful activities, adolescences tend to develop mental physical strength through these kind of games. Furthermore, they establish creativity which assists them in upcoming grades to perform better. For instance, kindergarten provides playful area for younger kids in their premises, so they can spend their time on activities, such as building castle, solving puzzles or making drawings. Which results them to calm their mind and perform and focus better on studies.

Some parents try to ignore sending their young children to primary schools at very young. They believe that studies at initial point of this age put detrimental effects on kids. But, facilities like play area in schools altered their mind. And more of the parents now sending their kids to schools. In addition, only studying formal education not enough to develop smart mind. If young students only focus on studies they get monotonous to their academics and these kind of activities facilitate them refresh their mind as a result, more productive in studies and learning

In conclusion, in my perspective adding playful activities for adolescences in primary schools put favourable effects on them. Consequently they perform better in their studies owing to there is no mental pressure that only come from if they only focused on academics and play develop creativity as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument that play helps children 'perform better' is mentioned but lacks deep explanation or specific, well-integrated examples. The term 'adolescences' is used incorrectly to refer to primary school children, which shows a slight misunderstanding of the target group. While the response covers the requirements, the supporting arguments could be more sophisticated and better linked to the educational benefits of play to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'Which results them to calm their mind'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. Overall, the progression of ideas is evident, but the management of cohesion is not yet flexible or sophisticated enough for a higher score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of incorrect word choice or collocation, such as 'shed a light on my opinion' (should be 'shed light on'), 'adolescences' (should be 'adolescents' or 'children'), and 'monotonous to their academics'. The range is sufficient to communicate the main points, but the student struggles with more complex or academic vocabulary. To improve, the student should focus on using collocations accurately and ensuring that words are used in the correct context, rather than relying on basic or slightly misused terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading, such as 'I am completely agree' (should be 'I completely agree'), 'at very young' (should be 'at a very young age'), and 'only studying formal education not enough' (missing verb). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with sentence fragments like 'Which results them to calm their mind'. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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