Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In contemporary society, It is frequently contended that the schools for children focus more on academic learning. This issue has become a widely discussed topic due to its growing influence on different areas of life and society. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with the statement owing to its detrimental implications on children's lifestyle. This essay will discuss why this position is justified with some reasons and multiple examples.

One of the main reasons supporting my view is that the primary schools that merely focus on intensive studies result in severe health concerns. For instance, by creating tough schedule of classes without an addition of any encouraging activity can cause fatigue and stress among children. Furthermore, the difficult routine of classes leads to unbalanced lifestyle of many students. Consequently, the increased growth of formal learning in various educational institutes contribute negatively in both the personal and student life.

The primary schools must introduce flexible schedule in their classrooms because it plays a vital role in the life of yougnsters. In other words, instead of fully focusing on busy and formal learning, the institutes must include some stimulating activities such as solving puzzles and playing sports. Subsequently, this enhance their ability of creativity which paves the way for achieving higher grades in class and enable them to become energetic and motivated.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that the importance of play along with study plays a vital role for numerous students owing to its several advantageous aspects such as attaining better grades in school, and participating in various educational tasks. Therefore, every primary school should welcome flexibility in their classes by making effective schedules and introducing motivating plays.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the essay mentions 'health concerns' and 'creativity,' these points are not fully extended with specific, concrete examples. The arguments remain somewhat general, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, you should provide more detailed illustrations or real-world scenarios to support your claims, rather than relying on broad statements about 'various educational institutes' or 'numerous students.'

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' and 'In other words' are used to link sentences and ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing (e.g., 'this enhance their ability' should refer to a specific noun phrase). Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the structure supports the reader's understanding of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'contemporary society,' 'detrimental implications,' and 'stimulating activities.' There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'tough schedule of classes' (should be 'a tough class schedule') and 'increased growth of formal learning' (which is slightly unnatural). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the precision is not always consistent. To reach a higher band, focus on more natural collocations and ensure that your word choices are contextually accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'the schools for children focus' (unnecessary article), 'without an addition of any encouraging activity' (awkward phrasing), and 'this enhance their ability' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally fine, but the frequency of these minor grammatical slips prevents the response from achieving a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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