Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Primary schools are focusing more on providing formal education to children, which I strongly agree, since it results more to a positive outcome, similarly to letting children have the time to play as well.
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. In fact, this results to a positive development to every children. It is on top of the fact that formal education focuses more on structured learning materials provided by the department of education. Therefore, teachers have a specific lesson per year level, that helps the students to learn continuously. As a result, a strong foundation is created while they are still young and it will be enhanced as they grow up, which helps them to be more active and gain intelligence.
It is very significant for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom, since it helps their mind to be more creative and learn knew information. Through playing, kids learn how to socialize and make friends which is significant in their ability to communicate. It also enhances their cognitive skills and the way they process new information. Furthermore, supporting kids to have a leisure activity that involves learning, shows the consistency and discipline in learning new things by the help of adults.
To conclude, I strongly agree with view that primary schools should focus more on providing formal education to children since helps build their foundation, however it should be balance by letting the kids have the time to play as well.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the claim that formal education leads to 'intelligence' is a broad generalization that lacks specific evidence or depth. While the position is clear throughout, the arguments could be more thoroughly extended with concrete examples or nuanced reasoning to reach a higher band. The response stays on topic, but the explanation of why play is important remains quite generic, focusing on basic social and cognitive benefits without exploring the pedagogical balance in greater detail.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'In fact', 'Therefore', 'As a result', and 'Furthermore' are used to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the transition between the two main body paragraphs could be smoother to better reflect the relationship between formal learning and play. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the reader can follow the writer's argument without difficulty, though the flow lacks the sophistication required for a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'structured learning materials' and 'cognitive skills'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'results more to a positive outcome' (should be 'leads to') and 'learn knew information' (spelling error: 'new'). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but the lack of precise collocations and the presence of basic errors prevent the response from reaching a higher level of lexical sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'which I strongly agree' (missing preposition 'with'), 'results to a positive development to every children' (incorrect preposition and pluralization error), and 'it should be balance' (incorrect verb form). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, the writer needs to focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and consistent verb tense control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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