Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education plays a crucial role in the our life and education has a power to change the world. some people believe that schools are more focus on formal learning than primary classroom and play. I completely agree with this statement.

to commence with, there many of reasons why schools focus on formal learning first of all, in formal learning there are less stress on teachers about the study of students because they set the timetable in advance which does not put the pressure on Teschers as well as students. moreover , due to formal learning teachers time is also save on making syllabus and making notes for students they can easily get the study related material through the internet.

furthermore, with formal learning teachers can set the goals of study and can achieve within time and also the tested can taken from the students to know their weakness and strengths so they can more focus on weak subjects and also know the new methods of learning.

on the other hand, play and classroom is also important for students first of all in classroom they can easily clear the doubts related to any subject secondly, students can do interaction with teachers and students which increase their confidence and communication skill.to add up, during playing they can know their strength and weaknesses and communicate with other which boost their confidence.

to sum up, formal learning and school classroom learning both plays important role in studies and both have different advantages of learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is limited. While you state your agreement, the arguments regarding formal learning are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about 'less stress on teachers' is not clearly linked to the primary school context. The second part of the prompt—the importance of play—is addressed, but the explanation remains superficial. To reach a higher band, you need to provide more specific examples or detailed reasoning to support your claims, rather than listing general benefits. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively summarise your position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'first of all', 'secondly', 'to add up'). Some transitions are awkward, such as 'to commence with', and the logical progression between sentences is sometimes disjointed. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'study', 'learn', and 'important' throughout the essay. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'tested can taken' instead of 'tests can be taken' and 'teachers time is also save' instead of 'teachers' time is saved'. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to pedagogy and child development, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('schools are more focus', 'both plays important role'), article usage ('the our life'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple, and attempts at more complex structures often result in errors that can cause some difficulty for the reader. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement and capitalisation at the start of sentences. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors would help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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