Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals raise concern over the fact that teaching institutions focus more on theoretical knowledge. I agree with this view to some extent, but I believe that creating time for various activities has added benefits in the childs overall well-being.

Schools tend to gear most of their curriculum towards theoretical learning. This ensures the kid understands the subject in a deeper level and increase their knowledge. Learning about various subjects from a small age might help with the childrens brain development. Nowadays, we hear quite a lot of examples about some kids being ahead of their peers because they were introduced to the subject before they began school.

Nevertheless, making children focus on formal learning may have its own drawbacks. Forcing a child to learn about various subjects constantly without stimulation can cause them to resent education growing up. And just staying in a room and studying all day may have negative aspects on their mental health.

Furthermore, children who have balanced learning and playing time tend to be more outgoing than their peers who only focused on education early in life. Playing doesn't necessary have to be outside. Nowadays, there are lots of indoor games available too. As playing games Stimulates various parts of their brain by playing, it may have positive impact on their learning abilities too.

In conclusion, I believe having separate time for games as well as for learning can help kids with their overall well-being, being more sociable, friendly, and sometimes even have positive impact on learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument that formal learning helps brain development is stated but not fully explored with specific examples or deeper reasoning. Similarly, the benefits of play are mentioned in general terms. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific, concrete examples—such as how play fosters social-emotional skills or problem-solving—rather than relying on general statements. Overall, the response is relevant and covers all requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'Nevertheless', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, the use of these devices is occasionally mechanical or repetitive. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, referencing is sometimes slightly unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the list of benefits ('being more sociable, friendly') lacks a clear grammatical link to the preceding clause. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'theoretical knowledge', 'curriculum', and 'well-being'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'gear most of their curriculum towards' (which is slightly informal) and 'necessary' instead of 'necessarily'. While you attempt to use some less common vocabulary, the range is not yet broad enough to consistently convey precise meanings. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring that word forms are accurate (e.g., 'childs' should be 'child's'). The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate your ideas clearly without causing difficulty for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'understand the subject in a deeper level' (should be 'at a deeper level'), 'from a small age' (should be 'at a young age'), and 'childrens' (should be 'children's'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, though there are some issues with comma usage in the conclusion. You show a good attempt at complex structures, but the frequency of minor errors prevents a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will help improve your accuracy.

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