Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, the educational institutes are giving attention to their students' overall development, while some individuals think that primary schools are giving their focus on formal learning. whereas, how crucial for the pupils to learn as well as play in classrooms of primary schools, In this essay, I will give my opinion and some reasons as well.
Firstly, we know that physical activities are also very necessary for the children overall growth, but according to some persons schools are only paying attention to structured education. For example, most of primary schools give their focus only on the study and educational activities, which are also playing vital role in the development of primary learners, but with other things like physical education is very significant for mental progress. Moreover, when schools only relay on formal instruction, their students do not give their best in all aspects of education. I am not agree with those schools that only focus on formal teaching.
Furthermore, while students of younger age learn educational things in primary schools, physical and sports activities are also very essential for them. For instance, children who are just started their study in primary schools, they are mostly homesick. These students also want proper care and focus. Because are new in this field, and to provide peace and relaxation to them, It very great for them to take part in physical activities. Schools should provide them assistance in their sports activities. By playing, they can get entertainment and humorous in their class rooms. In this way their interest and confidence will be boosted.
To conclude, formal education is important, but only focus on this part is not good at all. I believe that primary schools should also focus on other activities for development of students. And it very important for primary students to take part in sports and physical activities with learning in their class rooms. Because it very beneficial for them.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. While the position is clear, the arguments regarding 'homesickness' and 'humorous' environments are not fully explored or supported with sophisticated reasoning. The essay tends to over-generalise, and the connection between the points could be more robust to reach a higher band. To improve, ensure that each paragraph provides a distinct, well-supported argument rather than restating the same point about physical activity.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'To conclude'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the awkward transition 'whereas, how crucial for the pupils' in the introduction. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal structure of the paragraphs needs more sophisticated linking to ensure a smoother progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some instances of awkward word choices, such as 'educational institutes' instead of 'educational institutions', and 'humorous in their class rooms' which is grammatically and semantically incorrect. The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles with collocations. To improve, the student should focus on learning topic-specific collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary rather than repeating simple terms like 'study' and 'activities'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'I am not agree' (should be 'I do not agree'), 'most of primary schools' (should be 'most primary schools'), and 'only focus on this part is not good' (should be 'focusing only on this is not ideal'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma splices and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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