Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, the question of primary schools and learning methods has become one of the most debated issues in modern society. While some argue that formal education methods necessary students to improve the cognative skills. Others contend that children need to have fair amount of social time as well as learning. I do not agree with the statement students not only need formal education in primary schools, and will examine the key reasons supporting this view.

To begin with, one of the primary reasons is that primary schools are the places where students learn basic building block of their leaning. which gives strong sense, not only learning traditional things but also building social connection. Current education system focuse on the knowledge base learning while new leaning mehtods have been introduced, which are more focus one socialized pupil in to the enveironment. For example, Finland has one of the great education system and they have introduced many key learning areas, which focuse beyond the traditional learning mehods, and it leads to children to success their future education life.

On the other hand, activity based learnigs become wider beneficial for childrend to learn new experience. For instance, primary schools, childrens are keen to ask a lot of questions this can not be teach all the time, therefore they should have time to explore the world, therefore if they can spent quality time with their colleague they can improve their skill drastically. Therefore playing while studying is essential part of their primary schools,they should not limited to formal leaning.

In conclusion, this essay has argued that although formal learnig plays a vital role in the primary education, new learning model should implemented according to the new world. Therefore, it is essential that govenrment should focus more reforms in the primary educations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the position is somewhat contradictory; the introduction states, 'I do not agree with the statement,' yet the subsequent arguments support the idea that formal learning should be balanced with play, which actually aligns with the prompt's premise. The ideas are relevant but lack depth and specific development. For instance, the mention of Finland is a good start, but it is not fully explained in relation to the specific balance of play versus formal learning. To reach a higher band, ensure your position is clearly defined and consistently supported throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly misused, such as the repetitive use of 'therefore' within the same paragraph. Additionally, some sentences lack clear logical flow, such as the sentence starting with 'which gives strong sense,' which is a fragment. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence connects smoothly to the next will improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'cognative', 'leaning', 'mehtods', 'govenrment') and some awkward collocations (e.g., 'socialized pupil in to the enveironment'). While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary, the errors occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic terms and pay closer attention to word forms. Using a wider range of precise vocabulary, such as 'pedagogical approaches' instead of 'learning methods,' would help demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'education system focuse'), missing articles, and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'this can not be teach'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and misused commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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