Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Education is vital for learning and intellectual development . A number of people believe that school devoted too much on formal learning and others argue that children should play as well as learn in school .i strongly agree that play and learning both imperative for students . Therefore upcoming body paragraphs will eludicate same with valid justication and example followed by a reasoned conclusion statement .
First and foremost benefit regarding play and learn promote student to engage in activity and enroll in class furthermore, it lead to overall development .
Another striking benefit is that student have more interest in class and learn more .For instance , if all curriculum have only class it leads to bore and they have no longer interest in classes anymore .
Conversely ,critics of this approach argue that elementary school solely devoted on formal learning . Due to that youngster gain more knowledge and utilize in future for better life and jobs . The youth are backbone of our country do there is no need to waste time on engaging students in playing .
In a nutsell, it is vital to include playing activites along with learning which result in sensory , motor and cognitive development While, formal learning leads to stressful and boredom to children.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both parts of the prompt—the focus on formal learning and the importance of play—the arguments are underdeveloped and lack depth. For instance, the discussion on 'sensory, motor and cognitive development' is mentioned in the conclusion but not explained in the body paragraphs. To improve, you must expand your points with specific examples and ensure your response reaches the required length to allow for a full exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. You use basic cohesive devices like 'First and foremost' and 'Conversely', but the transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'eludicate same', which feels unnatural. Paragraphing is present, but the paragraphs themselves are quite short and lack internal cohesion, making the overall flow feel disjointed. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the logical flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'formal learning' and 'class', and there are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'eludicate same' and 'leads to bore'. There are also minor errors in word formation, such as 'justication' instead of 'justification'. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more varied synonyms and collocations, and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'school devoted too much' (missing auxiliary verb), 'student have more interest' (subject-verb agreement), and 'do there is no need' (incorrect conjunction). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, consistent verb tense usage, and correct punctuation. Proofreading for basic grammatical slips will help you move toward a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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