Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

As we move into the 21st century, many primary schools focus very much on formal learning. However, others argue that it is beneficial for scholar to do some other activities such as play, entertainment as well as learn in the primary school lectures. I agree with this viewpoint because, as an importance of formal learning other activities are also important in children's life. This opinion discusses in the upcoming paragraph.

To begin with, formal learning is important because it enhance the knowledge of the youngsters in many ways. Moreover, students are expected to complete large amount of academic work. children may spend several hours in classrooms, memorising information, and completing homework or tests. As a result, they phase too much pressure can make young students feel bored and reduce their interest in learning. For example, in cities such as Mumbai, some primary-school students attend regular classes as well as extra tuition.

On the other hand, play is extremely important in children's life because it develop social and communication skills of student. In addition, when children participate in group games, they learn how to cooperate, share, follow rules, work together, and solve problem. These skills cannot always be developed by the textbook and examination. For instance, a school in London may organise team games during the school days.

In conclusion, i agree that schools can sometimes place too much emphasis on formal learning. Although, play is also essential part of the classroom because it develops social skills, creativity, and problem-solving abilities. Therefore, a balance combination of learning and playing is the best approach for school children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the mention of pressure in formal schooling and the social benefits of play. However, the development is somewhat limited; for instance, the example of Mumbai is brief and could be better linked to the argument about 'too much' pressure. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more depth and specific analysis rather than just listing benefits or drawbacks.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main arguments. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'This opinion discusses in the upcoming paragraph', which is an awkward phrasing. Overall, the flow of ideas is easy to follow, and the progression is logical throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task. You use some topic-specific terms like 'formal learning', 'academic work', and 'social and communication skills'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'scholar' (should be 'students'), 'balance combination' (should be 'balanced combination'), and 'phase too much pressure' (should be 'face'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure nouns and verbs are used in their correct forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'it enhance' (subject-verb agreement), 'children's life' (should be plural 'children's lives'), and 'solve problem' (should be 'solve problems'). Additionally, the sentence 'Although, play is also essential part' is grammatically incorrect as 'although' is a subordinating conjunction and should not be followed by a comma in this context. While these errors are noticeable, they do not significantly impede the reader's understanding. Increasing the variety of complex structures while ensuring subject-verb agreement would improve your score.

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