Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Education is the most powerful weapon to change the world. Some folks oppose kindergarten mostly focuses on academic learning rather than other activities. I agree with the statement that participation in other curriculum activities is equally vital as classroom learning. I will discuss my arguments along with my own opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, these days schools are putting too much pressure on students related to their academic subjects like science, math, etc. To some extent, formal learning is crucial to be successful in particular professions such as doctors and engineers. Whereas some students are not good at studying, there are many student suicides seen nowadays because of study pressure from family and schools. For example, a famous police officer, Kiran Bedi, writes in her autobiography that childhood education formed her interest in police, investigations, and punishing criminals.

On the other hand, some people argue with the first notion that playing should also be a part of students' lives. It is proven worldwide that celebrities like actors, singers, and athletes were not good at their studies, but they are successful. It is not compulsory to be good in studies before becoming successful, because students might have different interests. For example, football player Ronaldo is living luxury life, but he never even attended high school.

In conclusion, no doubt study is necessary for survival, however, other activities cannot be neglected. There should be equal time allotted to study and play. I believe that it should not only be the responsibility of school, but parents should also find interest of their children to arrange extra classes such as piano, guitar, dance, or music.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The example of Kiran Bedi is slightly tangential to the core argument about primary school pressure, and the reliance on celebrity examples like Ronaldo to argue against formal education is a bit simplistic. To reach a higher band, you should focus on more academic or pedagogical justifications for the importance of play, such as cognitive development or social-emotional learning, rather than focusing solely on professional success or the lack thereof.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which help the reader follow the argument. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the jump from discussing academic pressure to the example of a police officer lacks a strong connecting sentence. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall progression of ideas is clear, though the logical flow between sentences could be more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'compulsory' and 'allotted'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and informal phrasing, such as 'Some folks', 'living luxury life', and 'not good at their studies'. These choices slightly limit the precision of the argument. To improve, you should aim for more academic collocations and avoid colloquialisms. The range is sufficient to communicate the message, but it lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'kindergarten mostly focuses' (should be 'focusing on'), 'a famous police officer... writes' (tense inconsistency), and 'find interest of their children' (should be 'identify their children's interests'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors that occur throughout. The sentence structures are mostly correct, but the frequency of minor errors prevents the essay from reaching the 7.0 band, where a higher proportion of error-free sentences is expected.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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