Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern era, "education is play a significant role on children". As per my vantage they should give knowledge about both the sectors so children can grub various knowledge about different thing. In that age if they do both the things together so they will be strong as physical and also in education.

To begin with, in the age of 5 to 11 or 12 children cannot decide his future so educational system should give focus on both. Physical activity is equally as important educational learning. Moreover, in this span schools started to focus on formal learning due to they make a certain boundary for children in addition to that they can learn about only less thing which is about particular subject. Furthermore, doing only study is complicated thing for primary age group children because it's hard to utilize whole knowledge. However, if they put subjects which is related to fun so refreshment makes them calm and they can do focus for next class.

On the other hand, playing game according to the hobby its shows the talent. Personally i believe that for primary school children government should make a rule for them For instance; schools must be include a playing subject between the gap of lectures as well as they should help that kind of student who have interest in playing sector so he/she can improve their skills and set his future in particular field.

In conclusion, doing both equally is the "necessary" for primary student. Educational should give freedom form they harsh studies so they can give their better and most important thing is play as well as learn is play a significant role on primary students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you express a clear position that both are necessary, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the explanation of why formal learning is 'complicated' for children is vague. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or logical reasoning to support your claims, such as discussing the cognitive benefits of play or the potential drawbacks of an overly rigid curriculum.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'in addition to that' and 'as per my vantage' are used awkwardly, and the transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt. While there is an overall progression, the logical flow is occasionally hindered by confusing sentence structures and repetitive phrasing. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. You rely on basic terms and struggle with collocations, such as 'grub various knowledge' (likely meant 'gain') and 'playing sector'. There are also instances of word-choice errors that make the meaning slightly unclear, such as 'educational should give freedom form they harsh studies'. To improve, you should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to education and child development, and practice using these words in their correct context rather than relying on repetitive, simple language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('education is play a significant role'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'For instance; schools must be include a playing subject'. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for common errors like missing prepositions or incorrect word forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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