Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals believe that primary schools pay too much attention to academic learning and do not provide enough opportunities to play. I largely agree with this notion because excessive study pressure on children may affect their mental and physical heath. While, playing in primary school is essential for for their development.

On the one hand, primary education offers so much skills to students such as reading, writing, and mathematics which the base foundation of every children. However, focusing too much formal education may create a stressful situation for young learner. Children relatively have short memory to remember and if we put much of stress it will lead to affect their mental and physical health. Furthermore, education should not be measured in term of academic achievements. Creativity, communication, and problem-solving ability are important skills that children should learn from an early age.

On the other hand, play is extremely important for children because it support physical ,emotional, and social development. Through the games children can learn how to communicate and how to solve a problem and learn teamwork. For example, teachers should include games in which they can learn more about mathematics or learn new languages. Physical activities can also help children remain healthy and improve their concentration when they to academic lessons.

In conclusion, I largely agree with this view as formal education is getting too much attention. Although academic lessons are essential, play is equally important for overall development of learner. Therefore, primary schools maintain a balanced approach between a formal lessons and play so young individuals can learn effectivity through physical activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention that excessive study affects health, you could have provided a more specific example of how this manifests in a classroom setting. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, but the overall depth of the argument could be improved by expanding on the 'how' and 'why' of your points rather than just listing them. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as 'While, playing in primary school...' which is grammatically awkward as a sentence starter. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'which the base foundation of every children', where the connection to the previous clause is weak. Improving the variety and natural flow of your linking words would help elevate your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'academic achievements', 'creativity', and 'overall development'. There are some instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'heath' (spelling), 'every children' (pluralization error), and 'in term of' (should be 'in terms of'). You also rely on some repetitive phrasing. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and ensure that your word forms are accurate. For example, instead of 'offers so much skills', use 'provides a wide range of skills'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader, such as 'every children' (should be 'every child'), 'it support' (subject-verb agreement), and 'when they to academic lessons' (missing verb). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some issues with comma placement. While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed with correct verb forms and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.