Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In this era, every parents want that their children learn formal education as well as some other skills that will help them in the future. However, some people argue that primary schools focus much more on formal education than children needed. In my opinion, primary schools have to give them time to play.
There several reasons why I believe that schools have to give them play time. To begin with, in the primary school children's brain is not developed to handle to much pressure and get more knowledge. At this age they should teach them how to focus on study and how to develop their brain. Moreover, if schools allow them to do some extra leisure activities like painting, riddles then it will helpful for them to develop their brain and they will enjoy it. Furthermore, play time allows them to make new friends and stay happy, because in primary school they are experience new things. Some of the things they will enjoy a lot.
On the other hand, in the primary school education is crucial, because at this age their brain is under development. What is more, teachers can help them to focus on such things like science and technology, because in the future it will help them to survive and make their career. Last but not least, formal education help them to get more knowledge about other things. For example, if they are interested in cricket then they can read books and get information about rules.
In conclusion, primary schools give them play time then they can relax, they do not have academic pressure and help them to make new friends and paly games with them.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument that children's brains are not developed enough for pressure is a good point, but it lacks specific elaboration or evidence. The conclusion is also quite repetitive and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. While the position is clear throughout, the supporting points remain somewhat superficial, preventing the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a deeper explanation or a more concrete example to support the main claim.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences can be slightly disjointed. For example, the transition between the discussion of brain development and the suggestion of leisure activities could be smoother. Additionally, the final paragraph is quite brief and lacks a strong concluding statement that ties the entire argument together effectively. Improving the variety and naturalness of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are some attempts at using topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'academic pressure' and 'formal education.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing or word choice, such as 'every parents want that their children learn' (should be 'all parents want their children to learn') and 'they are experience new things' (should be 'experiencing'). To achieve a higher score, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to express complex ideas more fluently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('every parents want'), article usage ('in the primary school'), and verb tense/form errors ('they should teach them' instead of 'they should be taught'). These errors are noticeable but do not consistently impede communication. To improve, the student should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb forms. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy will also help in achieving a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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