Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is often debated whether primary schools should place greater emphasis on formal education rather than a combination of play and learning. I firmly believe that it is essential for children to have access to both play and learning in the classrooms.

First and foremost, growing kids need to do physical activities for brain development and bone health. This is mainly because play leads to multiple benefits, such as improving cognitive health, enhancing muscle strength and also boosting communication and interpersonal skills among peers. For instance, multiple research studies done in the US have revealed that students exposed to play between the ages of 3 and 7 have better emotional intelligence and stronger physical health.

Furthermore, a lack of play and an excessive focus on formal learning can lead to emotional and mental exhaustion. Additionally, children may find it difficult to relax and explore hobbies outside their studies. For example, children who are exposed to educational content from an early age without sufficient time for play may struggle to balance different activities and engage in leisure pursuits outside education. Therefore, it is crucial for education systems to create a well-structured study plan which balances time between play and study for the betterment of students.

In conclusion, for the reasons outlined above, such as enhancing brain development and improving bone health, as well as preventing emotional and mental exhaustion, incorporating play alongside formal studies is essential for the healthy growth and overall development of children. Moreover, primary schools should strive to maintain a balanced approach that combines academic learning with adequate opportunities for play and recreational activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the benefits of play for cognitive and physical development, and the risks of mental exhaustion. However, the development is somewhat repetitive; the points regarding 'bone health' and 'emotional exhaustion' are mentioned in the body paragraphs and then restated in the conclusion without adding new depth. To reach a higher band, you could provide more specific examples of classroom activities that integrate play and learning, rather than relying on general statements about research studies.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic sentence, such as 'First and foremost, growing kids need to do physical activities...' and 'Furthermore, a lack of play...'. Cohesive devices are used effectively, including 'Additionally', 'For instance', and 'Therefore', which help guide the reader through the argument. The progression of ideas is smooth, and paragraphing is used appropriately. The essay flows well, and the relationship between the ideas is clear throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is sufficient and generally appropriate for the task. You use terms like 'cognitive health', 'interpersonal skills', and 'leisure pursuits' effectively. There is some repetition of basic words like 'play', 'learning', and 'children'. While the range is adequate to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the 'less common' or 'sophisticated' lexical items that would demonstrate a wider, more flexible range. The word choices are accurate, and there are no spelling errors, but the vocabulary remains somewhat functional rather than expressive or nuanced.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You use complex sentences effectively, such as 'For example, children who are exposed to educational content from an early age without sufficient time for play may struggle to balance different activities...'. The grammar is generally accurate, with very few errors. Punctuation is handled well, and the sentence construction is clear. While the range of structures is solid, it does not consistently show the 'wide range' of complex structures required for the highest bands, but the accuracy is high, with most sentences being error-free.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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