Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is argued between individuals that primary schools nowadays focus mostly on formal laerning. It is also vital for children to take part in the extra circular activities in schools as these help in confidence building. In my opinion, sports are also important for children health, so i totally disagree that schools only focus on formal learning.
Individuals think that the formal learning are important for children at primary level. Children in the age of primary school are more curious about learning new things that is why people believe they should focus more and more on studies. Additionally, when children spend more time on studies they are more active in studies. For instance, my little cousin loves to learn new things when he goes to school regularly. He can picks things more easily.
On the other hand, other activities rather than studies are also important for children. These other activities are helpful in confidence building. The kids become more confident when he takes part in extra circular activities. They can more concentrate on studies as their minds are fresh and healthier. That is why kids get good grades in studies too. Children can learn other skills such as they can be a good batsmen, muscian and actors as well in the future. These other activities are also important as studies.
To sum up this discussion, i would say that both formal education and other study activities are important for children because it has both physical and health benefits for them. There should be a balance between the studies and activities. These extra activities also have their benefits that last forever in children's life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat limited. While you state your position clearly in the introduction, the supporting arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about 'confidence building' is mentioned twice without significant elaboration. To improve, you should provide more specific examples or nuanced reasoning to support your claims. The conclusion is relevant but could be more effectively linked to the main body paragraphs to provide a stronger summary of your position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'On the other hand', and 'To sum up', which assist in the flow of ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. Furthermore, there are issues with referencing; for example, in the second paragraph, you switch between 'children' (plural) and 'he' (singular), which creates confusion. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent pronoun usage would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some basic terms repeatedly, such as 'studies' and 'activities'. There are also some noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'extra circular' (should be 'extracurricular') and 'can picks things' (should be 'can pick things'). To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to education and child development, and ensure that your word forms are accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'formal learning are important', 'kids become... when he takes part') and article usage. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed correctly without missing auxiliary verbs or incorrect verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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