Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely argued that primary schools spent a little too much time on formal learning instead of encouraging them to play sports and other activities. I strongly agree that focusing more time on studies can not develop their mental health and well-being. This essay will discuss the importance of physical activities in school.

It is universally acknowledged that only teaching formal study in primary schools led to more mental health pressure in students and behavioural effects can be seen among those children, which is exemplified by a survey conducted by Harvard University, that students who spend their entire school time hours studying were more depressed while 90% were more active and enthusiastic. Thus, sports and other physical activities plays a vital role in children being more active.

Moreover, participating in physical activities alongside studying makes students punctual and more discipline. Playing as well as studying create alertness among children resulting in better focus on study as well. It is seen that at a developing age continuous doing one thing often makes students less interested. Evidence suggest that in 2012, 10 children took part in games organized by school performed better in exams ranking the highest score as contrast to remaining students.

Hence, playing while learning has a great impact on physical as well as mental health.

To conclude, learning is essential for students growth, however, importance of sports and other physical activities outweigh the only teaching formal study. Adding sports with formal learning create individuals who are multi-taskers and has better performance in other fields.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The examples provided, such as the Harvard study and the 2012 statistic, are vague and lack sufficient detail to fully support the arguments. While the main points are relevant, the essay would benefit from more thorough elaboration and deeper analysis of why play is essential for cognitive and social development, rather than just stating that it improves performance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Thus', and 'To conclude' are used to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the discussion of mental health and the benefits of punctuality is slightly abrupt. Referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression of ideas could be more sophisticated to achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'enthusiastic' and 'multi-taskers', but some word choices are slightly unnatural or imprecise, such as 'continuous doing one thing' instead of 'repetitive tasks'. Collocations are generally acceptable, though there is room for more precision and variety to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('sports and other physical activities plays', 'learning... create individuals') and tense inconsistencies ('primary schools spent', 'Evidence suggest'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Punctuation is generally functional, but the control over complex sentence structures needs to be more consistent to reach the next band level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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