Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, many government primary school focus on academic rather than other curricular activities such as art and sports. I completely agree with statement and in my opinion, this kind of activity play a crucial role in one child holistic development.
Country like India, education system more focus on theoretical study rather than practical. There are several reasons behind it such as, both parents and teacher believe that academic is more important than sport and art. School do not have proper facilities for play ground and art class. For instance, there are many schools in mega cities like Ahmedabad and Mumbai do not have enough space for spots grounds. Furthermore, academics can help students to build their future in fields like science and technology. They can make more money while working in MNC company like Amazon, Google and Jio.
On the other hand sport is as pivotal as education. This will help to children who do not have interest in academic. They can make their future in sports. For example, there are many well known sprot players are not good in study such as Virat Kohli and Sachine Tendulkar. Moreover, sprot can help student to become both physical and mentally well being. They can develop more skill with the help of play such as time management, team co-ordination, communication and leader ship quality, which will be help them in future.
In conclusion, i believe that it is for children to play different sports as an important as learn other subject, which help them to become popular sportsmen or sportswomen to earn money and fame as well. Moreover, they can develop other skills.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is inconsistent. While you provide examples like Virat Kohli to support the importance of sports, the argument regarding academic focus is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. The position is clear, but the explanation of why play is important could be more sophisticated. For instance, the link between play and 'holistic development' is mentioned in the introduction but not fully explored in the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that each point is supported by a clear explanation rather than just listing examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as the transition between the lack of facilities and the benefits of academics. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as 'This will help to children', which lacks a clear antecedent. Improving the variety and naturalness of your linking words will help elevate your score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'holistic development', 'theoretical study', and 'time management'. However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'sprot players' (sports players), 'well being' (well-being), and 'leader ship' (leadership). There is also some repetition of basic words like 'future' and 'study'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your spelling of key terms is accurate throughout the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include missing articles ('in mega cities', 'in sports'), subject-verb agreement errors ('many government primary school focus', 'sport is as pivotal'), and awkward phrasing ('which will be help them'). While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralization and verb forms to ensure your writing is more accurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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