Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this globalized era, students are students are continuously doing only formal studies. but some people believe that it is important for children to play as well as learning in primary school class. and I totally agree with this notion.

The first paramount reason is that, only doing study all the time can effect on the mental health of the student. Because of the race of numbers student's were doing studies all the time because of this they almost forget about the physical activities and all this is cause mental problem, and it also cause anxiety. For example in Japan there they teach their students physical activity as well the Government has fix the hours for the studies in school and they also held physical activities such as base ball, foot ball. we also have to gave time to children.

Secondly, the reason is that by playing children become active and unlock their new skills and developed their interest. If children are not doing some physical activities like playing they get bored. they lose their interest in their studies as well, For example in Korea their children do many physical activities in their class they can play games they do many activities and this is how they build their interest I their studies and by doing this they become creative.

To sum up, physical activities is very important with study because always doing study in the class cause lose interest of children in studies and they also become mentaly disturbed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you provide examples from Japan and Korea, they are generic and lack specific detail, which limits the depth of your argument. The position is clear from the introduction, but the supporting points are repetitive, focusing primarily on 'mental health' and 'boredom' without exploring other facets like social development or cognitive benefits. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported idea that directly answers the 'how important' aspect of the question with more nuanced reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'The first paramount reason is that...' and 'Secondly, the reason is that...' are standard, but the internal flow within paragraphs is disjointed. There are issues with referencing; for instance, 'all this is cause mental problem' lacks a clear antecedent. Additionally, some sentences are run-on or fragmented, such as 'For example in Japan there they teach their students...', which disrupts the logical progression of your argument. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'doing study', 'mental problem', and 'physical activities'. There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'race of numbers' (likely meaning 'academic pressure') and 'Government has fix the hours'. The repetition of 'studies' and 'activities' indicates a limited range. To improve, you should focus on using more academic collocations and synonyms to express your ideas more precisely, rather than relying on simple, repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('student's were doing', 'activities is very important'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'we also have to gave time to children', which contains a tense error. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty or punctuated incorrectly. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and missing articles.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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