Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Some individuals believed that primary schools give more attention on formal learning. I strongly agree with this opinion, that the primary educational institutions focus more on formal learning and less on co-curricular activities and sports.
With the formal learning, sports play a crucial role in improving internal skills of children. Sports enhance many other skills in a child such as self-confidence, how to handle a pressure situation and stay calm, and it also improve critical thinking. For example, one of my friends who play sports with study is a now a good public speaker. And, when i ask him about this achievement, he said because of sports there are many other things enhance in me like communication skills, self-confidence, and how to cover-up the difficult situations and stay calm. So, sports are important with education because it relax and build confidence in student.
Sports can also improve person overall health. Sports bring change in student physical health, and it keep away health problems such as diabetes, obesity, and it also increases stamina. For instance, there are less death seen in international sportsmen because of health issues. The reason for this is that their overall health is good because of sports, and it keep away multiple health problems from a person. So, sports are also important for a person physical health and also keep person save from many health problems.
In conclusion, with the formal learning sports are also important because it improve a person physical and mental health. And by sports, there are many other skills are developed in a person which are important for practical life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. While you provide examples, such as the friend who is a public speaker, the argument could be more nuanced by exploring the balance between academic rigour and play, rather than focusing almost exclusively on the benefits of sports. To reach a higher band, ensure that the connection between 'play' and 'learning' is more explicitly linked to the classroom environment as requested by the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. Cohesive devices are present, such as 'For example', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences can be slightly disjointed. For instance, the transition between the discussion of sports and the conclusion could be smoother. Referencing is generally clear, but the repetition of phrases like 'sports are also important' at the end of each paragraph makes the structure feel a bit formulaic.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'important', and 'improve' repeatedly. There are some inaccuracies in collocation, such as 'give more attention on' (should be 'to') and 'play sports with study' (should be 'alongside their studies'). While the meaning is always clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic language that would be expected at a higher band level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that, while not impeding communication, are noticeable. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('sports... it relax', 'there are many other things enhance in me'), incorrect verb tenses ('one of my friends who play sports... is a now a good'), and article usage ('the primary educational institutions'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of these errors limits the score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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