Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that primary schools are too much focused on their formal methods of learning. Although formal learning is not bad, others think it might be helpful if they encourage children to play as well as study in the primary school classroom. As for my opinion i agree with the idea of encouraging both study and outdoor playful activities.

In one hand, students can learn about various topics such as language, art and culture, religion and history in the classroom. They can focus and learn in a competitive manner. In addition, teachers can educate them about manners, behavior and morality. By engaging with peers from same age, they can properly learn about team works and group activities.

On the other hand, keeping the children inside of the classroom for 4-5 hours can really wears them out. In this case, schools can make the learning playful by arranging outdoor activities. In foreign countries, schools use a technique where children spend 1 hour in classroom and 1 hour in the school's playground. There, they can play hide and seeks, solve puzzles etc. Teachers also engage with them to make this more organized and fun. Occasionally, school committee can organize picnics, outdoor explorations or field trips to further enlighten their knowledge.

It is important to spend time in the classroom for purely learning purposes. But spending the entire day in the classroom is harmful for their mental and physical growth. This can be balanced through the mixing of both indoor and outdoor activities by properly organizing their schedule.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. The ideas are relevant, such as the benefits of classroom learning versus the physical and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged sedentary periods. However, the development is somewhat basic. For instance, the mention of 'foreign countries' is a vague generalization that lacks specific detail or depth. To reach a higher band, the arguments could be extended with more sophisticated reasoning or concrete examples of how play specifically enhances cognitive development or social skills.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In one hand' (though this is a non-standard collocation for 'On the one hand'), 'In addition', and 'On the other hand'. While the progression of ideas is generally logical, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different viewpoints. The transition between the benefits of formal learning and the necessity of play is clear, though the flow could be improved with more varied linking phrases to connect sentences more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. The student uses common terms like 'not bad', 'fun', and 'good', which are functional but basic. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'too much focused' instead of 'too focused' and 'enlighten their knowledge' (a misuse of 'enlighten'). While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'competitive manner' and 'physical growth', the range is limited. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding repetitive or overly simple phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'i agree' (capitalization), 'In one hand' (incorrect idiom), 'can really wears them out' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'from same age' (missing article). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. The student demonstrates an attempt at complex structures, but the control is inconsistent. To achieve a higher score, the student needs to improve accuracy in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and idiomatic expressions while ensuring that complex sentences are constructed without errors.

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