Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Proponents hold the view that elementary school students focus too much on formal education instead of integrating play in their curriculum. I believe that integrating extra activities into the primary classroom is essential because it develops cognitive skills in younger children.
On the one hand, many primary schools rely excessively on formal learning, placing too much pressure on students for traditional textbooks and tests. This means that young children spend long hours sitting at desks, memorizing the facts for examination rather than actively exploring and understanding ideas. As a result, many young learners experience high level pf psychological stress and sudden loss of interest in reading from early age. Therefore, excessive focus on formal learning rather than adding play can cause mental stress and hate towards study.
On the other hand, I believe that integrating play in the primary classroom is vital because it develops crucial social skills in young children. When children participate in group games or creative activities, they naturally learn communication, teamwork and creative thinking skills. This kind of skill plays significant role for children in their personal growth and career prospects. Moreover, adding games in their study helps them to gain knowledge in more entertaining way and they lose the hate for study. For instance, if Interactive educational games are integrated on Mathematics subject, allowing them to understand the information effectively. Therefore, playing should not be viewed as distraction, but as a priority for early childhood education.
In conclusion, although many people believe that play causes distraction in their learning, I strongly disagree as play plays significant role in children development because it not only develops cognitive skills, but also encourage them in reading.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant and generally well-supported, such as the mention of social skills and cognitive development. However, the development of the argument could be more nuanced. For example, the point about 'Interactive educational games' in Mathematics is a good start but remains slightly underdeveloped as it lacks a specific explanation of how this bridges the gap between play and formal learning. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used effectively, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Moreover', which help guide the reader through the argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions could be more sophisticated to improve the overall cohesion. For instance, the link between the second body paragraph and the conclusion could be tightened to better synthesize the arguments presented. Overall, the structure is clear and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task. The student uses some topic-specific terms like 'cognitive skills', 'curriculum', and 'career prospects'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'hate towards study' (better: 'aversion to studying') and 'high level pf psychological stress' (typo: 'of'). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but it lacks the variety and precision required for a higher band. To improve, the student should focus on using more sophisticated collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is a good attempt at using complex sentences, such as 'When children participate in group games or creative activities, they naturally learn...'. However, there are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('on Mathematics subject'), incorrect preposition usage, and minor punctuation issues. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. The student should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to enhance the accuracy of their writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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