Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued by a few individuals that primary educational institutions stresses a lot on formal learning, while neglecting other activities such as sports and outdoor learning. Personally, I fully agree with this claim as most of the primary schools nowadays are extremely focused on academics only, and create an imbalance between the studies and extra-curricular activities, which are also very necessary for the growth of a child.

People who criticize initial schooling have valid arguments for their claim; therefore, I am also in favor of these individuals because i believe that the primary education these days is a mere waste of natural talent and high potential youngsters as they are overloaded by homework and assignments at a very young age, due to which their hidden talents and interests remain hidden and undiscovered. Along with this, people also support this argument because they hold sports and other physical activities in high regards as these are quite essential for physical and mental well-being of a growing child. Thus, primary education's curriculum must be redesigned in a much more balanced way.

Conversely, there might be some counter arguments to this thought such as the significance of the primary schooling. People who are against this arguments believe that early schooling play a pivotal role in broadening the mindset of a youngster, and it also strengthens one's academic base, which will consequently sharpen a child's mind. Moreover, they also consider that dealing with peer pressure and being exposed to a competitive environment at a very young age will help a child in becoming mentally strong as one will be facing real life difficult situations and suffering with academic pressure, which will make a child mentally strong.

To summarize all the key points discussed, I totally agree with that the academic orientated environment should be eradicated from primary schools as it results in high cortisol levels in young children, which will definitely have adverse effects on the child's health and well-being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: your position on the focus of primary schools is clear, and you have discussed the importance of play. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, you mention 'hidden talents' and 'physical and mental well-being' in the second paragraph, but these points are not supported with specific examples or detailed explanations. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a concrete example or a more nuanced exploration of the consequences of the current system. Your conclusion introduces a new point about 'cortisol levels' which should have been integrated into the body of the essay rather than appearing at the very end.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, and you use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'Conversely', 'Moreover', and 'Thus' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. For example, the phrase 'People who are against this arguments' contains a grammatical error and the connection between the counter-argument and the subsequent explanation is a bit abrupt. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved by ensuring that each sentence builds more effectively on the previous one to create a smoother flow of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, including terms like 'pivotal role', 'academic orientated', and 'adverse effects'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For example, you write 'stresses a lot on' (should be 'places a lot of stress on') and 'hold sports... in high regards' (should be 'high regard'). Additionally, the repetition of 'mentally strong' in the third paragraph limits the sophistication of your writing. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('institutions stresses'), incorrect pronoun usage ('i' should be 'I'), and errors in pluralization ('against this arguments'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. To achieve a higher score, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent capitalization and pluralization.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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