Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some argue that elementary schools extremely teach their students with a formal way. I firmly agree with this statement, because the understanding of kids is not the same as teenagers. Therefore, schools should to educate with an informal way and an outdoor learning. So, I will explain more on below.
Perhaps one major reason for this is the fact that children have their own period in which their times mostly are fullfilled by playing. It is said that teachers have to balance children's learning method between playing and studying. Consequently, if the teachers gave an engagement course for pupils, children would understand effectively and study eagerly. For instance, in the top rank school in Indonesia, the teachers always utilize fun-learning method for their pupils. As a result education government in Indonesia approved their method and included in national syllabus.
Secondly, outdoor learning would release the stress of students. This is because pupils can explore the things around of them. Therefore, students not only learn in the class, but also in the environment, and, thus, childrens might get the other perspectives in knowledges with a different way effectively. For instance, usually, in Vietnam, most of the students should learn in animal zoo once a mounth. As a result, the students like to study.
To sum up, it seems to me that fun-learning way and exploring outdoor, such as zoos, are the most effective methods for educating children, due to their period are mostly supposed to play with others. Therfore the modest way is that combining and balancing playing and studying altogether.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
Tanggapan ini membahas kedua bagian dari perintah tugas: sejauh mana persetujuan mengenai pembelajaran formal dan pentingnya bermain. Posisinya jelas di seluruh tulisan. Namun, pengembangan ide agak terbatas. Meskipun Anda memberikan contoh dari Indonesia dan Vietnam, penjelasan mengenai mengapa bermain penting bagi perkembangan kognitif atau sosial masih dangkal. Untuk mencapai band yang lebih tinggi, Anda harus memperluas bagian 'mengapa'—misalnya, menjelaskan bagaimana bermain menumbuhkan kreativitas atau keterampilan sosial—daripada hanya menyatakan bahwa hal itu mengurangi stres. Ide-idenya relevan, tetapi kurang memiliki kedalaman yang diperlukan untuk skor yang lebih tinggi.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
Esai ini diatur ke dalam paragraf yang logis, masing-masing dengan fokus yang jelas. Anda menggunakan perangkat kohesi seperti 'Consequently,' 'For instance,' dan 'To sum up' untuk memandu pembaca. Namun, penggunaan perangkat ini terkadang mekanis atau terasa kurang alami, seperti 'So, I will explain more on below.' Selain itu, beberapa transisi antar kalimat terasa agak mendadak. Meningkatkan alur antara kalimat pendukung Anda akan membantu esai terasa lebih kohesif. Pembuatan paragraf digunakan dengan tepat, yang membantu struktur argumen secara keseluruhan.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Kosakatanya umumnya memadai untuk tugas ini, tetapi kurang memiliki presisi dan rentang yang diharapkan pada tingkat yang lebih tinggi. Anda mengandalkan frasa dasar seperti 'formal way' dan 'fun-learning method.' Ada juga beberapa kolokasi dan pilihan kata yang canggung, seperti 'elementary schools extremely teach' dan 'education government.' Untuk meningkatkan hasil, cobalah untuk memasukkan kolokasi akademik dan terminologi yang lebih tepat terkait pedagogi dan perkembangan anak. Meskipun maknanya selalu jelas, rentang kosakata yang terbatas mencegah esai menunjukkan fleksibilitas yang diperlukan untuk band 7 atau lebih tinggi.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
Esai ini berisi campuran struktur kalimat sederhana dan kompleks, tetapi terdapat kesalahan tata bahasa yang sering terjadi. Contohnya termasuk 'schools should to educate,' 'childrens might get,' dan 'due to their period are mostly.' Kesalahan-kesalahan ini, meskipun tidak menghambat komunikasi, terjadi secara konsisten di seluruh teks. Anda mencoba menggunakan kalimat kompleks, tetapi sering kali mengandung kesalahan dalam kesesuaian kata kerja atau penggunaan kata depan. Untuk meningkatkan hasil, fokuslah pada penguasaan kesesuaian subjek-kata kerja dasar dan penggunaan kata kerja modal yang benar. Meningkatkan frekuensi kalimat bebas kesalahan sangat penting untuk mencapai rentang band 6.5+.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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