Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In recent years, there have been wide discussions regarding the methods of learning in primary schools, with many arguing that modern schools place too much emphasis on formal learning. On the contrary, I argue against this claim, and I believe that it is still important to incorporate playful elements in learning to create a comfortable yet educational environment in school.

Many believe that it is crucial to focus primarily on maintaining formal learning in schools as it teaches children about the importance of discipline and patience. They will be able to differentiate between school and home, associating school with proper behavior and little leisure as opposed to the relaxed environment back at home. Teachers will use proper academic materials such as tests, comprehension tasks and queries with little variation, and will opt for a stern attitude when teaching to discipline the students. As a result, this may lead to improved school performance as they may be less inclined to develop issues with disruptive and inappropriate behaviour. However, this may lead to a negative perception surrounding school especially at a younger age as it will be quite an unwelcoming environment due to the heavy focus on workload and nothing else.

There is no doubt that all children must maintain appropriate behaviour during class as that is basic, common etiquette. Nevertheless, adding playful elements to school will add a sense of familiarity and comfortability. This is especially important in primary school, given that it essentially acts as an introduction to the academic setting preparing them for highschool. There will be less stigma surrounding education, and they will be more likely to develop a good relationship with school. This may include a more relaxed demeanour when teaching the kids, and using a variety of different enjoyable educational materials to engage the students in lessons. It could be through promoting beneficial video games, perhaps involving mathematical elements, or by displaying colourful, entertaining videos about the different biological processes.

In conclusion, though formal learning may have its perks, I believe it is crucial to maintain certain playful aspects when it comes to education, enough to ensure a respectful yet engaged environment especially in earlier years of education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt clearly. You present a balanced view, acknowledging the benefits of formal learning while arguing for the necessity of play. The position is consistent throughout the essay. Ideas are well-developed, particularly in the second and third paragraphs, where you provide specific examples like 'mathematical elements' in video games and 'biological processes' in videos. To reach a higher band, ensure that the transition between the two viewpoints is more nuanced; while you argue against the claim that schools focus 'too much' on formal learning, your body paragraphs could more explicitly weigh the 'extent' of this balance rather than treating them as two separate sides of an argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'On the contrary', 'As a result', 'However', and 'Nevertheless' effectively to link ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately. To improve, ensure that referencing is always precise; for example, in the second paragraph, the phrase 'this may lead to' is slightly ambiguous in its reference to the previous sentence. Overall, the flow is smooth and the structure supports the argument well.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'formal learning', 'common etiquette', and 'stigma surrounding education' are used correctly. There is an attempt to use less common items, such as 'demeanour' and 'incorporate'. While the vocabulary is generally accurate, it is occasionally repetitive (e.g., 'formal learning' and 'school' appear frequently). To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms or collocations to avoid repetition and add variety to your expression, such as using 'academic rigour' or 'pedagogical approaches'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay displays a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You use complex sentences effectively, such as 'This is especially important in primary school, given that it essentially acts as an introduction to the academic setting preparing them for highschool.' Punctuation is generally accurate, and errors are rare and do not impede communication. There are minor slips, such as 'highschool' (which should be two words: 'high school') and 'comfortability' (which is less natural than 'comfort'). Overall, the control of grammar is strong, and the majority of sentences are error-free, which is characteristic of a high band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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