Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Majority of individuals debate regarding junior schools emphasizing too much on formal education. I neither agree with this opinion as I believe it has led to development of several problems in kids. The suggestions regarding it are mentioned in the following essay with relevant examples.

Junior schools pressuring on formal education makes it like formality rather than a opportunity to learn something. It equips their mind with fear to complete their work to get away from it rather than learning something new. Furthermore, it eventually pushes kids into the vicious trap of comparison with his or her peers with marks which kills the motive behind education. This leads to development of inferiority complex and making them prone to mental health issues. For instance, A student who got low marks than his or her friend in an exam makes one ill about themselves.

However, these problems can be solved if the emphasis shifts from formal education to practical education where it allows children to play and learn, focusing on deriving new learnings. Few exercises such as mental games can be used to improve mental cognitive abilities. Furthermore, interactive activities will make children to step up, developing their minds with confidence and courage. Through this, teachers can conclude the strengths and weakness of a particular child, guiding him or her to move forward with the areas they shine and polish the lacking parts. For instance, a child is more interested in sports instead of studying, he or she can be guided towards sports while managing the education one require.

From this, I conclude that formal education builds immense pressure on kids and can lead to serious mental issues while the practical education can set up education as a opportunity rather than a formality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: your opinion on formal learning and the importance of play. Your position is clear throughout the essay. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention that formal education leads to 'mental health issues,' this point could be better supported with more specific, nuanced examples beyond just 'low marks.' To reach a higher band, ensure your arguments are fully extended rather than just stated. You have successfully covered all requirements of the task, but the depth of analysis remains at a mid-level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore,' 'However,' and 'For instance' to link your ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, some transitions between sentences feel slightly abrupt, which affects the overall flow. Referencing is generally clear, but there are instances where the connection between ideas could be smoother to improve the progression of your argument. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'inferiority complex,' 'cognitive abilities,' and 'vicious trap.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'pressuring on formal education' (should be 'placing too much pressure on') and 'makes one ill about themselves' (should be 'makes one feel bad about themselves'). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, you rely on some basic phrasing and lack the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, 'Majority of individuals' lacks an article, and 'a opportunity' should be 'an opportunity.' There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, such as 'makes children to step up.' While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on article usage, correct prepositional phrases, and ensuring consistent verb forms throughout your sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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