Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Undoubtedly, it is often argued that primary schools give more priority to teaching formal learning. I partially agree with this statement and it is crucial for childern to play as well as learn in primary schools in forthcoming paragraphs before giving my personal view.

To commence with the , predominant is it very beneficial for the children especially for primary students because juveniles learn more civic sense in initial age from schools.

They acquire such good habits from schools such as how to behave good , how to perform well in future . However , schools only teach theoretical skills they do not provide practical skills to children . Consequently , children more indulge into theory based . on the other hand side , their communication skills , problem solving skills as well as interpersonal skills will be deprived . So , their consequences is it is not advantageous for future of students.

On the contrary , primary schools teaching formal learning to children . Therfore , students enhance their intelligence level in initial age . They are easily acquire more knowledge from the schools and become more subjective in life .Furthermore , playing is very benificial for the students health in primary schools . Because through the playing their health will be enhance . Moreover , if they are playing in teams their communication skills will be more improved because they intract with teammates on regular basis then they feel more happy in initial age and sense of togetherness .

In conclusion , schools only teach theory based education system so , children’s practical skills will be deprived . However , playing plays vital role in students life their health will be enhanced

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, acknowledging the focus on formal learning and discussing the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the essay attempts to explain the benefits of both formal education and play, the arguments are often repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about 'civic sense' is mentioned but not clearly linked to the prompt's focus on formal learning versus play. The position is partially clear, but the lack of logical progression makes the overall argument feel disjointed. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-supported idea that directly answers the specific question asked.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between and within them is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical use of cohesive devices. Phrases like 'To commence with the , predominant is it' are grammatically confusing and hinder the logical progression of ideas. While some transition words are used (e.g., 'However', 'Furthermore', 'In conclusion'), they are often placed incorrectly or used to connect ideas that do not logically follow one another. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The range of vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'juveniles learn more civic sense' and 'become more subjective in life', which do not accurately convey the intended meaning. The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles to use less common items appropriately. Spelling errors, such as 'childern', 'benificial', and 'intract', are present but do not entirely prevent communication. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary to express complex ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the complex attempts are frequently marred by grammatical errors. There are persistent issues with word order (e.g., 'predominant is it very beneficial'), subject-verb agreement, and missing articles. Punctuation is also problematic, with spaces before commas and inconsistent sentence boundaries. These errors are frequent and occasionally cause the reader to pause to decipher the meaning. To improve, the student should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring correct word order before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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