Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some individuals brlieve that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I completely disagree with this statement. I would argue that it is very important for childrens to play in their primary school because it is important for their physical and mental health.
Some people think that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I disagree with this statement because i think that most of the primary school offers informal learning as well as on physical activities such as sports tournament. For instance, primary schools are known for events such as blue day, purple day etc. meaning that, primary schools allow lot more informal studies than seconday schools. As aresult, it is difficult to say that primary school are now more focus on formal education.
It is very improtant for primary school childrens to play and learn in their classroom because its essitional for physical and mental health. Additionally, it encourage them to go school regularly. For example, if their school organize a small sports events such as a running race or a painting competition than students might happily perform perticipate. This means that learning and playing together can perform better academic and sports skills result
In conclusion, Some individuals argue that formal learning is too much in primary school
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both parts of the prompt—your stance on formal learning and the importance of play—the arguments are underdeveloped. The conclusion is also incomplete, consisting of only a single sentence that does not summarize the main points. To improve, you must expand your supporting examples and ensure your conclusion provides a comprehensive summary of your position. The ideas presented are relevant, but they lack the depth and extension required for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the first two paragraphs where you restate the same point about formal learning. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'For instance' and 'Additionally,' but they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly (e.g., 'As aresult'). The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the lack of a proper concluding paragraph disrupts the overall flow of the essay. Improving the logical transition between sentences and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, distinct focus will help improve your score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision needed for higher bands. You rely on basic terms and repeat words like 'important' and 'primary school' frequently. There are also spelling errors such as 'brlieve', 'childrens' (incorrect plural), 'essitional', and 'perticipate'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider variety of synonyms and more sophisticated collocations. For example, instead of repeating 'important', you could use 'crucial', 'vital', or 'essential' in different contexts to demonstrate a more flexible command of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'primary school are now more focus'), incorrect pluralization ('childrens'), and punctuation errors. The sentence 'This means that learning and playing together can perform better academic and sports skills result' is grammatically incoherent. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb forms and word endings. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy is key to improving this score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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