Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Introduction

Some people believe that primary schools place too much importance on formal learning. I partly agree with this view because academic learning is necessary for children, but I believe that play should also be an important part of classroom education.

Body Paragraph 1

There are some problems when schools focus too much on formal learning. First, children may have fewer opportunities to use their creativity. If they spend most of their time reading textbooks and completing written tasks, they may not get enough chances to think freely or develop their own ideas. Second, children may have less time to play, which can make them tired and less interested in their studies. For example, if young students spend many hours doing worksheets and learning from books, they may lose interest in classroom activities and find learning boring.

Body Paragraph 2

On the other hand, play is very important because it can make learning more enjoyable and effective. Children can learn difficult ideas through simple games and activities, which can help them pay more attention. For example, teachers can use counting games to teach basic maths, allowing children to learn while having fun. In addition, play helps children develop social skills. Group games teach them how to share, communicate and work with others. These skills are useful not only at school but also in their future lives.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I agree that too much formal learning can have negative effects on young children, especially by reducing creativity and making them tired of studying. However, formal learning is still necessary for basic education. In my opinion, primary schools should create a balance between academic study and play because this can make learning more enjoyable while also helping children develop social and creative skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt clearly. You have established a consistent position throughout the essay, acknowledging the necessity of academic learning while advocating for the inclusion of play. The ideas are relevant and well-developed, particularly the discussion on creativity and social skills. To reach a higher band, you could further extend your arguments by providing more specific, real-world examples or deeper analysis of how the 'balance' might look in a practical classroom setting. Overall, the response is well-focused and directly answers both components of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use cohesive devices effectively, such as 'First', 'Second', 'On the other hand', and 'In addition', to link your points. The paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to the overall clarity of the argument. The flow between sentences is smooth, and there is no evidence of repetitive or mechanical referencing. The structure is sound and supports the development of your ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'formal learning', 'develop their own ideas', and 'social skills' are used accurately. While the vocabulary is appropriate and clear, it remains somewhat functional. To achieve a higher band, you could incorporate more sophisticated or less common lexical items to express your ideas with greater nuance. For example, instead of 'make learning more enjoyable', you could use 'enhance the pedagogical experience'. However, there are no significant errors in word choice or collocation that impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay displays a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Your control of grammar is generally strong, with very few errors. For instance, the use of conditional structures ('If they spend most of their time...') is accurate and well-integrated. Punctuation is used correctly throughout the text. While the grammar is reliable, the range of complex structures is somewhat limited; incorporating a wider variety of subordinate clauses or passive constructions would demonstrate greater flexibility. Nevertheless, the writing is error-free for the most part, and the meaning is always clear.

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