Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.5)
Some individuals believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning. I partly agree with this view because, although formal education is essential, pupils should also have sufficient opportunities to play and develop their interpersonal and communication skills.
One major reason why schools place considerable emphasis on formal education is that young children are required to develop basic academic skills. They can often absorb new concepts quickly and therefore need to learn fundamental skills such as reading, writing and mathematics at an early age. In addition, schools need to follow a structured curriculum to ensure that teachers can cover all the required material within the academic year. For instance, if schools devoted too much time to recreational activities at the expense of formal studies, teachers might struggle to complete the syllabus on time. However, I partly agree that excessive focus on academic learning can be problematic because spending too much time studying may place pressure on children, causing them to feel tired and reducing their motivation and academic performance.
At the same time, it is crucial for students to have opportunities to play alongside formal learning. Play is important because games can help children develop skills that are valuable in their everyday lives. Through group activities and games, pupils can develop interpersonal skills such as communication, teamwork, confidence and problem-solving. For example, participating in a team game requires children to communicate with their classmates, cooperate with others and make decisions according to different situations. Furthermore, physical activities can improve children's health and help them maintain a healthy and active lifestyle. Therefore, play should be regarded as an important part of primary education rather than simply a break from academic study.
In conclusion, although formal learning is necessary for children to develop fundamental academic skills and complete the required curriculum, I partly agree that primary schools can place too much emphasis on it. In my view, schools should maintain a balance between academic study and play because both are important for children's overall development.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.5 |
| Overall | 7.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response fully addresses both parts of the prompt. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. The arguments regarding the necessity of formal learning and the benefits of play are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of teamwork and communication skills. The structure is logical, and the ideas are extended sufficiently to provide a comprehensive answer. You have successfully balanced the two sides of the argument, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task requirements. No parts of the prompt were neglected, and the response is well-focused.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the necessity of formal learning and the importance of play is smooth. You use a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'In addition', 'However', 'At the same time', and 'Therefore', which help guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. The flow of information is natural, and the relationship between sentences is clear, making the essay easy to follow from start to finish.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'place considerable emphasis', 'absorb new concepts', 'recreational activities', and 'overall development' show a good command of academic language. While the vocabulary is accurate and appropriate for the context, it is generally functional rather than highly sophisticated or idiomatic. There are no significant errors in word choice or collocation, and the language used is consistently natural. To reach a higher band, you could incorporate more precise, less common lexical items to add nuance to your arguments.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5
The essay displays a good variety of complex sentence structures, such as the use of conditional clauses ('if schools devoted too much time...') and subordinate clauses ('although formal learning is necessary...'). The grammar is highly accurate, with the majority of sentences being error-free. Punctuation is used correctly to support the clarity of your writing. There are no persistent grammatical errors that impede communication. The control over tense and subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout the text, reflecting a high level of grammatical competence suitable for this level.
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