Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this eassy the statement show that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and in my observation i completely agree with this statement and i explain it with some example .

In my opinion , i think primary schools focus too much on formal learning beacuse in primary school age children are in which age where they learn basics of studies and learn manners to stand in this world. if their base is good and satified then they will be sucessfull person in the future and learn things faster. For example, a person learn English language in teenage then he will not face any difficulty in future.

It is very important for children to play as well learn in the primary school beacuse when they see new things around and then they take interest in them and they do brain stoming to learn these things. when kidz play they meet alot of new people and learn many new things to talk to other and they knoe about how to survive in this world.

In classroom, they met with different personalities and different mind and then they thinking about something that hoe to tal with thi person and they make an image of them in their mind that which kind of person they are. they learn many thing like about lesson , stories and games and some about technologies and how to use them .

to sum up, it is very important for children to play games and learn different activities because these things bring confidence in them and encourage them to keep going and achive their goals in future.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth, relying on general statements rather than specific, well-supported examples. For instance, the mention of 'learning manners' and 'brain storming' is vague. To improve, you should provide more concrete examples of how play specifically enhances cognitive or social development in a primary school setting. The position is clear, but the supporting points need more elaboration to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. Phrases like 'in this eassy' and 'to sum up' are used, but there is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the third paragraph where 'they' is used repeatedly without clear antecedents. The progression of ideas is present but feels somewhat disjointed due to the limited range of transition signals.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'eassy', 'sucessfull', 'kidz', 'knoe', 'hoe', and 'achive'. The word choice is often simplistic, relying on basic terms like 'good', 'things', and 'learn'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and the frequent spelling mistakes indicate a limited control of vocabulary. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and ensuring accurate spelling of common words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors, such as 'children are in which age where they learn' and 'if their base is good and satified then they will be sucessfull person'. Punctuation is inconsistent, with frequent misuse of commas and spaces before punctuation marks. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are also problematic throughout the text. A greater variety of error-free complex structures is needed to demonstrate better grammatical control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.