Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this essay the statement show that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and in my observation i completely agree with this statement and i explain it with some examples .
In my opinion , i think primary schools focus too much on formal learning because in primary school age children are in which age where they learn basics of studies and learn manners to stand in this world. if their base is good and satisfied then they will be successfull in the future and learn things faster. For example, a person learn English language in teenage then he will not face any difficulty in future.
It is very important for children to play as well learn in the primary school because when they see new things around and then they take interest in them and they do brain stoming to learn these things. when children play they meet alot of new people and learn many new things to talk to other and they know about how to survive in this world.
In classroom, they met with different personalities and different mind and then they thinking about something that how to talk a person and they make an image of them in their mind that which kind of person they are. they learn many thing like about lesson , stories and games and some about technologies and how to use them .
to sum up, it is very important for children to play games and learn different activities because these things bring confidence in them and encourage them to keep going and achieve their goals in future.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position on the focus of primary education and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument that children learn 'manners' is a good starting point, but it is not expanded upon with sufficient depth or specific examples. The example provided regarding learning English in teenage years is slightly tangential to the primary school context. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations and concrete examples that directly support your arguments about the balance between formal learning and play.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'In my opinion' and 'to sum up' are used, but there is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences. Some transitions are abrupt, such as the jump between discussing 'manners' and 'learning English'. Improving the flow by using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'learn', and 'things'. There are some attempts at more specific vocabulary, such as 'personalities' and 'technologies', but these are often used in a slightly unnatural way. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to education and child development. Avoid repetitive phrasing and try to incorporate more varied synonyms to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the statement show'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'they do brain stoming'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would be a beneficial step for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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