Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this essay the statement shows that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and in my observation i completely agree with this statement and i will explain it with some examples .

In my opinion , i think primary schools focus too much on formal learning because in primary school age children are in which age where they learn basics of studies and learn manners to stand in this world. if their base is good and satisfied then they will be successful in the future and learn things faster. For example, a person learn English language in teenage then he will not face any difficulty in future.

It is very important for children to play as well learn in the primary school because when they see new things around and then they take interest in them and they do brainstorming to learn these things. when children play they meet a lot of new people and learn many new things to talk to other and they know about how to survive in this world.

In classroom, they meet with different personalities and different mind and then they thinking about something that how to talk a person and they make an image of them in their mind that which kind of person they are. they learn many thing like about lesson , stories and games and some about technologies and how to use them .

to sum up, it is very important for children to play games and learn different activities because these things bring confidence in them and encourage them to keep going and achieve their goals in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. The argument that primary schools focus too much on formal learning is stated but lacks depth, relying on vague assertions rather than specific educational examples. The second part regarding the importance of play is addressed, but the explanation is repetitive and lacks a clear, logical link to the primary school curriculum. To improve, you should provide more concrete examples of how play facilitates cognitive or social development, rather than general statements about 'meeting new people'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is often mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'and then', 'when children'). Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the fourth paragraph where the connection between 'different personalities' and the conclusion is weak. To reach a higher band, you should use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic, repetitive language such as 'learn', 'things', and 'good'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'satisfied' to describe a base of knowledge and 'brainstorming to learn these things'. To improve, focus on using more academic vocabulary and precise collocations that are appropriate for an essay context, rather than relying on simple, everyday phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include missing articles ('learn English language'), subject-verb agreement errors ('a person learn'), and punctuation mistakes (spaces before commas). While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement, proper article usage, and consistent verb tense, as these are fundamental to achieving a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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