Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
Many people think are stuck in between of their work and personal life; however, they have don't have enough time for their personal life. Many of them don't have enough time to enjoy their life according to their will.
Nowadays, most people do not have enough time to enjoy themselves and spend time with their families. In this case, most people are employed and work long hours or do several jobs to fulfil their own and their families’ needs. For example, a man doing just only one job and his salary is limited that he could not fulfill his basic needs then, he tries to find new job to fulfill the basic needs of his family also. These people have only one source of income which is job salary only.
Many people have started side businesses so that once they finish their regular jobs, they can manage these businesses and spend most of their time on them. For example, a man who started his online business on Amazon after com
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for a discussion on primary school education, specifically the balance between formal learning and play. However, the student has written an essay about work-life balance and financial struggles. Furthermore, the response is significantly under the 250-word minimum, which severely limits the development of any relevant ideas. Because the content does not address the prompt at all, it fails to meet the basic requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
While there is an attempt to use paragraphing, the lack of a coherent argument makes the structure ineffective. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is disjointed. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and repetitive way, such as the frequent use of 'Many people' and 'For example'. The text ends abruptly mid-sentence, which disrupts the flow and logical progression of the writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive, relying on simple phrases like 'enough time', 'do a job', and 'fulfill needs'. There is no attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary related to education, as the essay is off-topic. The word choice is often imprecise, such as 'stuck in between of their work', which is grammatically awkward and lacks the necessary sophistication for an academic task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The text contains frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity. Examples include 'Many people think are stuck', 'they have don't have', and 'a man doing just only one job'. Sentence structures are largely simple or contain errors when attempting complexity. Punctuation is inconsistent, and the incomplete sentence at the end of the text further highlights a lack of control over sentence structure and grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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