Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
Some people believe that primary schools place excessive emphasis on academic and formal education. I partly agree with this view because academic learning is important, but I believe that play should also have an important role in children's education.
On the one hand, formal learning is necessary for young children because it provides the foundation for their future education. Students need to develop basic skills in subjects such as reading, writing and mathematics. However, placing too much emphasis on tests, memorisation and homework can have negative effects. Children may become stressed and lose interest in learning if they spend most of their school day completing academic tasks. For example, a young child who spends most of the day completing worksheets and preparing for tests may have little opportunity to develop creativity and social skills. Therefore, schools should provide a reasonable balance between academic study and other activities.
On the other hand, play is an important part of children's development and should be included in primary education. Through games and other activities, children can develop communication, teamwork, creativity and problem-solving skills. For instance, when children participate in group games, they need to communicate with their classmates, follow rules and solve problems together. Physical play can also help children develop their motor skills and maintain a healthy lifestyle. For these reasons, play should be considered an important part of education rather than simply a break from academic learning.
In conclusion, I partly agree that primary schools can place too much emphasis on formal learning. Although children need strong academic foundations, play is equally important because it helps them develop social, creative and practical skills.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
You have addressed all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position on the balance between formal learning and play. Your ideas are well-developed, particularly in the second and third paragraphs, where you explain the necessity of academic foundations and the developmental benefits of play. The response is balanced and directly answers both questions posed in the prompt. To reach a higher band, you could further extend your examples by perhaps mentioning a specific type of play-based activity or a real-world educational model that successfully integrates both, which would add more depth to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is smooth. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'However', 'For instance', and 'Therefore' effectively to link your points. The paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to the overall clarity of the argument. The flow is natural, and the relationship between the ideas is easy to follow throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary appropriate for an academic context, such as 'excessive emphasis', 'foundations', 'motor skills', and 'academic study'. The word choice is generally precise and natural. While the vocabulary is sufficient and accurate, it is mostly functional. To achieve a higher band, you could incorporate more sophisticated or less common collocations and idiomatic expressions to show greater flexibility and precision in your language use.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5
Your grammar is strong, with a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You use subordinating conjunctions like 'although' and 'because' effectively to create complex sentences. The punctuation is accurate, and there are very few grammatical errors. The majority of your sentences are error-free, which indicates a high level of control. To reach the highest band, ensure you vary your sentence structure even further to include more advanced grammatical forms, such as conditional clauses or passive constructions where appropriate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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