Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

IT IS OFTEN ARGUED THAT SCHOOL HAS FOCUS ON STUDIES OR PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT EDUCATION IS THE PILE OF EVERY CHILDREN. I AGREE WITH THE LARGE EXTENT THAT STUDY AND PLAY BOTH ARE IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN. I PROVIDE PROPER EXPLANATION AND EXAMPLE FURTHER.

FOR MY FORMER VEIW, EDUCATION IS THE KEY OF CALMNESS WHERE AS PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES PROVIDE DICIPLINE IN CHILDREN. KIDS JOINED DIFFERENT ACTIVITY CLASS BY THEIR PARENTS. IT NOT ONLY PROVIEDS DICIPLINE BUT ALSO HELPS FOR MUSCELS BUIDT UP. IN ADDITION, CHILDREN CAN ALSO LEARN HOW TO MANAGE DIFFICULT SITUATIONS. EXCERSIES BOOST UP STAMINA IN JUNETORS. THEIR BODY BECAME STONGER BECAUSE THEY EAT PROPER MEALS WITH INTAKES OF VITAMINS AND MINERALS. AT THE END WHITE CELLS ARE ALSO INCREASE IN BODY.

FURTHERMORE, INCREASEING IN CRIMINAL ACTIVITY KIDS LEARN HOW TO SAVE THEMSELF AND ONLY STUDY CAN NOT BE HELPFULL. MOREOVER, SO MANY KIDS WANT TO MAKE CAREER IN SPORTS AND ALSO JOINS MILATRY. FOR THAT THEY HAVE TO BE STRONGS AND HEALTHY. FOR EXAMPLE, RAPE CASES ARE INCREASEING ALL OVER THE WORLD BUT IF GIRLS KNOW ABOUT SELF-DEFENCE THEN THEY CAN SAVE THEM FROM.

ON THE OTHER HAND, EDUCATION IS ALSO IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN. PROPLE WHO ARE EDUCATED ARE VERY CALM AND STAY HAPPY. THEY KNOW HOW TO RESOLVE PROBLEM. STUDY ALSO HEPLS PLAYERS ON FIELDS TO CALCULATE THE STRATEGIES.

TO CONCLUDE, I FIRMLY AGREE THAT STUDY AND SPORTS BOTH ARE IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN FROM THEIR CHILDHOOD. BOTH THE THINGS HELP THEM TO FIGHT WITH THEIR OWN WAYS.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you argue for the importance of physical activity, the arguments are somewhat disjointed, moving from muscle building to self-defence and then to career aspirations without clear logical transitions. The inclusion of 'rape cases' is an extreme example that feels tangential to the core discussion of primary school education. To improve, focus on developing arguments that directly relate to the classroom environment and the pedagogical benefits of play, rather than broad societal issues.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'FOR MY FORMER VEIW' is an unnatural way to introduce an argument, and 'AT THE END' is used incorrectly to conclude a paragraph. There is a lack of logical progression between sentences; ideas are often listed rather than linked. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') more naturally to connect your ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and spelling errors that hinder the flow, such as 'DICIPLINE' (discipline), 'MUSCELS BUIDT UP' (muscle development), 'JUNETORS' (juniors), and 'MILATRY' (military). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas precisely. You rely on basic terms like 'good' or 'important' and struggle with collocations. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to education and child development, and pay closer attention to spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'SCHOOL HAS FOCUS', 'WHITE CELLS ARE ALSO INCREASE'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple, and attempts at complex structures often result in errors, such as 'I AGREE WITH THE LARGE EXTENT THAT STUDY AND PLAY BOTH ARE IMPORTANT'. Punctuation is generally functional, but the overall control of grammar is weak. You need to work on basic sentence construction and ensure that your verbs and nouns agree correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.