Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Individuals argue that in the primary school teachers just focus on formal learning rather than extra circular activities, I agree with this statement and how important for primary school children to play and learn in their classrooms.

First of all, people who say primary schools focus too much on formal studies because when children studying are primary schools their age and mind are not mature or like teenagers they need to play as well as learn in their classrooms.For instance, if teachers just focus on their formal studying and doesn't give importance extra activities or fun type of learning than children are not healthy because their brain not feel freshness they are more bored and not perform very well.

Secondly, Children to play as well as learn in their classrooms because mostly children's are naughty and they not serious like mature or an adult, moreover if when their teachers just focus on formal studies and not adopt new methods to teaching children and how to teach children are like playing. If teachers realize this importance and teaching children with new ideas and methods than children perform more better, furthermore teachers should teach children they participate in sports and do more activities which help them children stay clam and more energetic.

In conclusion, teachers should focus not just formal studies they teach with fun which more helpful for children and this is most important for their performance and get higher marks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position on the focus of primary education and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding children's maturity and the benefits of play are repetitive and lack specific, well-supported examples. Furthermore, the response is under the 250-word minimum, which negatively impacts the depth of the discussion. To improve, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations or concrete examples of how play-based learning specifically enhances cognitive or social development in a primary school setting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. While transition words like 'First of all,' 'Secondly,' and 'In conclusion' are used, they are often followed by repetitive phrasing. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between 'freshness' and 'performance' is not fully articulated. The use of cohesive devices is basic and sometimes repetitive, which hinders the flow of the argument. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'formal learning,' 'study,' and 'activities.' There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'extra circular' (should be 'extracurricular') and 'brain not feel freshness.' The phrasing is often simplistic, which restricts your ability to convey complex ideas effectively. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and collocations related to education and child development. For example, instead of 'fun type of learning,' use 'interactive pedagogical approaches' or 'experiential learning.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children studying are primary schools'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'doesn't give importance extra activities'), and awkward sentence construction. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and missing commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic sentence structure and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and pluralization.

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