Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
Yes I am agree that children play as well then he study as well in primary school classroom . Because childen play any games then his mind was fresh .His brain work faster . Because this all of work depend on this mind .Then his mind was fresh he work done fast . Then chidren learn he work fast . Then childern play games his body work well and his mind work well . He has no problems to do any work .Then he is topper of all format in school. Brain is gifting for god . Children all work depend on brain . Fast brain do his work fastlie he is a good brain . Then lazy brain work very slowly . Lazy brain created many problems then children has no idea how he work doing . Then his body work lazy and he dont participate any funcations . Then his brain his faster he do work fast on his time before . Then children play as well then he learn well in the primary school classroom . There are many affects of playing games for children health . He doing all types of work fastlie . Then he study well and make a good numbers in classroom . He makes a good boy . He get good marks.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay attempts to address the prompt by arguing that play is beneficial for children's cognitive development, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. The response does not clearly articulate a position on whether schools focus 'too much' on formal learning, instead focusing almost exclusively on the benefits of play. The ideas are underdeveloped, and the lack of specific examples or a structured argument prevents a higher score. To improve, you must expand your points with concrete examples and ensure you address all parts of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks paragraphing, which is essential for organizing ideas in an academic essay. The progression of ideas is difficult to follow because the text consists of a single, repetitive block. There is a lack of cohesive devices; the writer relies heavily on the word 'then' to connect sentences, which creates a mechanical and repetitive flow. Referencing is often unclear, such as in the phrase 'this all of work depend on this mind.' To improve, you should group related ideas into distinct paragraphs and use a wider variety of linking words like 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' or 'in addition' to connect your thoughts logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, relying on basic words like 'work,' 'good,' and 'fast.' There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'topper of all format' and 'brain is gifting for god,' which make the meaning unclear at times. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. To improve, you should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to education and child development, and practice using synonyms to avoid repeating the same words throughout your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammar is characterized by frequent errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'childen play,' 'his brain work'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. The sentence structures are almost exclusively simple, with no successful attempts at complex sentences. The punctuation is also problematic, with many sentences being run-on or incorrectly fragmented. To improve, you need to focus on the basics of sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that you are using correct tense forms consistently.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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