Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, many believe primary schools often only consider formal learning as important for children and discard other important things for children.

Whilst I believe it is imperative for children to receive an education and engage in formal learning, I agree with this perspective and I believe primary schools could focus less on formal learning and consider other things such as children developing social skills and playing whilst learning in the classroom.

Aforementioned, it is vital for children to engage in formal learning. In doing so, children will have a greater opportunity to learn, enhancing their chances of educational attainment while developing their brains as well as their knowledge on various topics and subjects that are useful for when they leave primary school.

Nonetheless, I believe schools focus too much on formal learning and children can still benefit from primary school education that does not solely focus on formal learning. It is equally as important to me for a child in primary school to develop their social and communication skills as well as their fine motor skills. If a schools primary focus is on formal learning, this minimises the chance of a child developing these skills. As a result, it is harder for these children to develop these skills as they get older and this could cause them problems in later life. Moreover, research would suggest we often find it easier to learn when we enjoy something. Therefore, if a child is engaging in a play activity, their chances of learning and developing is increased.

To conclude, I agree that schools focus too much on formal learning and I believe children can still learn in a more informal way. Just because a child engages in a play activity does not mean they will not learn.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: your position on the focus of primary schools is clear, and you have provided reasons for the importance of play. The ideas are relevant and generally well-supported, particularly the point regarding the link between enjoyment and learning. However, the development is somewhat repetitive; for instance, the mention of 'social and communication skills' and 'fine motor skills' could have been expanded with more specific examples of how these are fostered through play in a classroom setting. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored rather than restated in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Nonetheless', 'As a result', and 'Moreover' to link your ideas effectively. However, the transition 'Aforementioned' at the start of the second paragraph is used incorrectly; it is an adjective and cannot function as a sentence adverb in this context. Additionally, some sentences feel slightly disjointed due to repetitive phrasing. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that referencing is precise will help create a smoother flow between your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to communicate your ideas clearly. You use some appropriate academic collocations like 'educational attainment' and 'formal learning'. However, there is a tendency to repeat basic words such as 'things', 'skills', and 'learn'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms or topic-specific vocabulary related to pedagogy or child development. For example, instead of 'other things', you could use 'holistic development' or 'extracurricular competencies'. The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the flexibility and precision required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'If a schools primary focus' (missing apostrophe) and 'chances of learning and developing is increased' (subject-verb agreement error: 'chances' is plural). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for minor punctuation and agreement errors. Increasing your use of more sophisticated complex structures, such as conditional clauses or passive voice, would also enhance your grammatical range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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