Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, education plays an integral role in everyone’s life . It is often argued that primary schools are more concentrate on formal education these days . Although formal learning has numerous advantages. But too much focus on academics lead to stress and reduce social interactions .

To elaborate it , nowadays schools often focus only on formal learning instead of sports and recreational activities , which may leads to stress and anxiety because students feel too much pressure of their academics . Teachers encourages them to achieve good grades , so they study for long hours and often forget to play outdoor and spending time with parents . As a result , this trend may have negative impact on both health and mental well-being of children . Another significant factor is that they may lacking in essential skills , if they only concentrate on academics such as, communication, problem-solving and teamwork ,which reduce the opportunities for them in their upcoming years .

On the flip side, academic plays an important role to teach children important values . The better education can open doors to more job opportunities and help them to stable their income, hence they support their family and themself financialy . Moving further , education makes students more responsible by teaching predominant values like as respect older people, follow rules and behave nicely ,these factors are crucial to become successful person in future .Moreover, education provide much knowledge to students and helps them to secure their future.

In conclusion, Although a lot of focus on formal learning leads to various issues such as anxiety and health problems but we cannot overlook the benefits of this trend as it helps to find a better job ,enrich knowledge and teach important values.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While you present a clear position, the arguments in the second body paragraph regarding the benefits of formal learning are slightly generic and could be more deeply linked to the primary school context specifically. The conclusion summarizes the points well, but the overall position could be more nuanced. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with specific examples or logical consequences rather than just stating the benefits or drawbacks.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'To elaborate it', 'On the flip side', and 'Moreover' to link your thoughts. However, some of these transitions are slightly mechanical or used incorrectly, such as 'To elaborate it' (which should be 'To elaborate' or 'To illustrate this'). Additionally, the use of punctuation is sometimes inconsistent, which occasionally disrupts the flow of ideas. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help the essay move more naturally between points.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary era', 'integral role', and 'recreational activities'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'are more concentrate on' (should be 'focus more on') and 'help them to stable their income' (should be 'stabilize'). Some phrasing is also slightly awkward, such as 'predominant values like as respect older people'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise control over word forms and collocations to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('which may leads to', 'Teachers encourages', 'education provide') and sentence fragments ('Although formal learning has numerous advantages. But...'). These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text. While the meaning remains clear, the frequency of these slips prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic agreement and ensuring that sentences are complete will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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